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Responses from EHOWA subscribers who have had positive results following my guidelines...



It was this past firday night 1/11 , around 8:30 PM. Im going pretty fast on a pretty busy highway in my area, Route 9, Wappengers Falls NY...me and my freinds are late to meet up with the other guys. Look at my speeddometer im doing 80 in a 45, so i go to slow down.. next thing i see is a New York State Trooper sitting on a side road, i fly by him cuz there was no way in hell i was gonna be able to slow down. So as soon as i see his lights go on, I immediatly thought of your section on speeding tickets. First thing i did, was got the fuck off that highway and got into the parking lot of a gas station, thinking that it would be safer for the cop. I stopped, told my friends in the car ( all of us 17-18) to shut the hell up for the next 10 minutes, put the interior lights on, and all the windows down, then put my hands on the steering wheel. Trooper comes up, asks for license and registration.... i give it to him. He goes to make a move to his car, and i remebered to let him hear my story before he goes back with my license. So i asked him "speeding? " .. he replied with a yes, and that he gunned me at 75. About 5 minutes later he came back to my car, no ticket in hand ...gave me my license and told me to have a goodnight. Well the purpose of this e-mail is to thank you, and to let you know i appreciate what you do. I feel that the speeding ticket seciton of your site helped me out a lot, and that all the visitors o




Wow the day after I read your article I passed a cop going the opposite direction on a highway near my home.I was going about 66 in a 50.. right as he passes me I see him put on the brakes and lights and start to pull a U turn. I start freaking out and thinking oh shit oh shit( esp. since I am a teenager who drives a red mustang convertible) I see to my right a entrance to a park , and remebering your article I quickly pull into the entrance to make the cop feel safe by being out of traffic ....the cop is so busy pulling a U turn and hauling ass to catch up to me he doesn't even notice I have disappeared...I wait for a couple minutes in the park then pull out again....he is gone....thanks so much for saving my ass!! ~Amy~




About 18 months ago, I was driving back from Myrtle Beach at 9:30 PM on a Wednesday night. The old 911 was flying low. I saw the radar warning receiver flash instantaneously to maximum signal strength. About this time I see blue lights crossing a difficult median. I know either a trooper is having a wreck, or I'm getting a ticket. Well, the blue lights fall in behind me, as I wait for the construction zone to end (I couldn't pull over because of the orange barrels). The trooper comes up along beside me, and I've got the interior lights on, hands on the wheel, license in hand. He asks me I I know why he pulled me. I said "because I was speeding". I immediately saw how this caused him to have trouble verbalizing his thoughts. For an instant, he wasn't sure what to say. I had caught him off guard by accepting responsibility. He then asked if I knew how fast I was going. I answered 70 mph, figuring it somewhat accurate. He said "try 80mph." He took my license and told me to wait. So I'm thinking, Oh shit!! 80 in assessment of my cooperative nature. The judge asked me if I had anything to add, which I did not. Then I am floored when his honor dismisses the whole case, and even the prosecutor doesn't object. The judge tells me "the holiday spirit has prevailed". I thank him vigorously. I know. This was probably my one freebie. Probably never happen again. But it has changed me forever. In a positive way. Steve M, Charlotte, NC




Ernie, your speeding ticket advice worked like a fucking charm. just got out of a 200 dollar ticket and 4 points on my license. You are the man.Thanks a ton, Chris




just got done visiting a friend on the other side of the state, on the way back, was in a 60mph zone, had the cruise set for 5 or 6 over, like usual. had the radio cranked up, and not paying attention to anything but the road in front of me. got going down a hill, and the cruise didn't slow down enough, and the car got up to 71, that's about the time i saw the state trooper comin over across the median. that's when i saw how fast i was going. anyhow, got pulled over. well, i was nervous as shit, but i was doin pretty good. sat still, waited for cop to get up to the car to pull out license and registration, but i hesitated on telling my story. well, by that time, he was already on the way back to his car, and i knew i was screwed, cuz like you said, ALWAYS get your story out before he goes back to his car. well, i didn't, and i got stuck with a $95 ticket. that was the first time i ever got pulled over, but i've learned from my mistake, and if it ever happens again, i'm certain i can get out with a warning, c




just another thing you should note if for any reason a cop asks to search your car let him,and along that same line keep you auto as clean as possible making it easier for the cop realize their is nothing illegal under all your shit Stephen B




i was going 55 in a 25 zone of course didnt realize but the signs were about 1/2 a block apart and didnt see them. I proceded to turn into a local movie store and saw the lights .....Deputy sherrif. You have to understand my car problem-It sucks- beat to hell. I couldnt understand at all how i could even do that fast. Well he was a fairly nice guy about it and just got a verbal warning ....even asked if i had been drinking "No sir". Got out of it. And the best thing of it was my best friends were watching me the whole time twenty feet behind me ....best time of my life.Never been pulled over since and thats especially after reading your rules thanks ernie! Skiman




I enjoyed your piece on speeding tix. I too have had my share of speeding tickets, 4 to be exact, and got out of all 4. I thought I might drop you a line about another tip. Vehicle Choice. I drove a Ford Probe from 1993 to 1998 and was pulled probably 8 times for 4 speeding tix and a warning. Then I got a Ford Explorer and still drive it. Havent been pulled once, and I speed more than ever now. 50 in 35 or 85 in a 65 is about average for me. I had to drive my sister’s car (sebring) about a month ago and low and fucking behold, a warning ticket. Sporty lookin cars have a better chance of getting pulled. SO I’m guessing if you drove a 1914 pushmobile, you could drive at whatever speed. Either get that…or a car that can outrun the law…Troopers here in NC just got Sooped up z28’s…Hunt




I just wanted to thank you for the how to get out of a ticket article, I read it when it was first sent out put it to use yesterday, I was doing 91 in a 70 when I crossed the state line from AL to GA and saw a state trooper in the trees, I just went ahead and pulled over, and pretty much followed the directions to a "T", got off with slight scolding and a warning.......although I probably shouldnt have thanks! Marcia in Alabama




Just wanted to say thanks for the tips on tickets/cops. I forgot to write when this actually happened, but I've gotten pulled over twice since I read your long-ass email on how to deal when caught... and they were the only two times I've gotten pulled over and NOT ticketed. I ran through my "Ernie Says:" checklist in my head as soon as I saw the lights behind me, and lo and behold... no tix. Many thanks....Shawn




Wow, just like to say that you article on speeding tickets was quite informative and for once, someone on the internet actually sounds like they know what the fuck they're talking about. Once upon a time a friend of mine considered himself to be the authority on california state driving laws, what a cop can and cannot do after having pulled you over and his bumper stickers heralded such cheerful slogans as "Question Authority" and of course the damning "Bad cop, no donut". Essentially he gleefully broke every commandment you set forth in your article and he sincerely thought he was always one step ahead of the cops. Oh the denial he was in. In the time we cruised together, he got more speeding tickets than anyone else I know. He had an excellent knack for transforming a good cop into a FAC at the drop of a hat whether it was those assinine bumper stickers of his or the "But officer, if you remeber code 4-a in sub-paragraph six of the california drivers code, you'll see that blah blah fuckin blah". He was als




Ernie, first off, let me say that I wish your life filled with beautiful big breasted women who wish to do nothing with their lives but to fulfill every sexual whim, bring you beer by the gallon, and treat you like the "GOD" that you are. Now that I got the appropriate ass kissing out of the way, let me say...YOU DA MAN!!! I got pulled over doing 56 in a 35. Yes, I know, I deserved it. I was wrong. I am a fuckwit. That being said, I still didn't want a ticket. I followed your guidelines, got read the riot act, and let go with a warning. Someone give this man a blowjob. Jeanne




I must compliment you on your "How to avoid a speeding ticket" page. I'm about the same age and have the same years of driving experience as you. took my radar detector out of my car long ago. I knew they never worked. I even stooped as low to get one of them radar jammers. What a bunch of CROCK! I realized the fucker didn't work after I passed one of them Community speed awareness set ups. "YOUR SPEED: 52" in a 40 pmh zone. My radar jammer didn't do jack. Heh-heh. At anyrate, I really enjoyed your stories as well as the rest of your website. Keep up the good work. Andy




Hey, Ernie. I just wanted to drop you a line and say thanks for the how-not-to-get-a-ticket tips you sent out a while back. I got pulled over for the first- and second -time ever this past week. They were both for kind of smallish thing, but would have meant a pain in the ass and a big chunk of change if I had gotten tickets, which I didn't! I just kept your instructions in mind, and both incidences turned out to be painless and fine free (one verbal warning, one written). You have saved me from the evil moving violation fairy, Ernie. You rock my world! LesleyRose




Uncle Ernie, Allow me to (belatedly) say thank you for sending out that email about how to get out of a ticket. I followed your advice, and it worked. I got clocked doing about 10 over, in a town where 5 or 6 can get you a ticket. like I said, I followed your email, and the officer came back and said, "I'll cut you a deal. You slow down, and I won't give you a ticket." needless to say, I was quite relieve. Thank you again. Faithful subscriber Michael




Hi, Ernie. I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely loved your article on how NOT to get tickets. I must say your techniques proved tried and true to me the other night.I work for a criminal defense attorney, and if half of our stupid asshole clients would just do what makes normal sense instead of acting like a bunch of drug whores, they wouldn't need my services. Peace Tina




LOL...I have USMC sticker on my window...(my fiance was a Marine) I have been pulled over 5 times for speeding or for a tail light out or "because I looked too young to have a license" etc. I have not gotten a ticket once! Semper Fi! GotabeUSMC




I' have been pulled over a few times for various things (speeding, light out, run stoplight, etc.). I always slip my military ID to the officer and have only ever received one ticket, given by a fucking MP! Go figure Avalanche




I read your post on how to get out of a speeding ticket, and wouldn't you know it, two days later i get pulled over for speeding. I was going about 55 in a 45. I did everything I remembered from the post, and he just let me off with a warning. Thanks for the advice. Enjoy your vacation. Sean




Well I would like to thank you on your Lesson on how to avoid a situation with the police, I got pulled over today, and remembered what I read from your letter, and wouldn't you know, I got a WARNING!!!!! WOOO HOOO... Thanks man. Do I smell something bad, Oh NO, It's just Ernie cause he's the shit....rob




Just last night on my way back from doing 115 from San Carlos, Mexico to Tucson (you can go that fast in Mexico), I hadn't gotten used to going slow in the US after crossing the border. Got picked up doing 70+ in a 35 after the checkpoint, did the sorry, I certainly was going too fast - remembering to keep the sheriff with ME at my car for a long, long chat about the weekend and all and.....got off with a written warning. That's how they do it here in AZ! Great advice!! He appreciated the fact that I copped to the excessive speed, and dug the excuse as he knows how fast the driving is on #15, the Pan American hwy. Was amazed that I made it 260 miles in 3 hours flat.Thanks, Rob




Your suggestions have already saved my ass from the black and whites. You are truly a god. I was coming off the highway going 65 with my cruise control set, and being the lazy bastard i am i didnt turn it off. So there i am cruising down the 3 lane access road (in Texas we have those one way access roads) and i choose the middle lane, as per your suggestion. Inevitably, there are two cops on bikes on a side street with their gun out. I see them and know it is too late already, but hit the brakes anyway. They didnt even turn to look at me. I dont even think they gunned me because i was in the middle lane, even though i was easily 20 mph over the limit. I slowed down the rest of the way home, but I had to write and give my thanks. You are a genius. CCS




Moral: Always tell the truth. I 395 in DC. Going 70 in a 50, driving Mazda RX7 (Cop Magnet). See cops with radar set up on other side. Being "Good friend Jim" I start flashing my lights to warn saps I don't even know. Round Bend. There's Officer friendly on my side. Conversation...Cop: Sir, why were you flashing your lights? Me (Asshole): Well Sir, to be absolutely honest, to let the people on the other side know there was radar set up." Give cop license & Registration.Cop comes back; gives me warning.Said if I had told him anything else he would have ticketed me. ALWAYS tell the truth. BigJ




2 AM heading from Chicago to Minneapolis, cruising through Bumblefuck, WI. Cruis is set about 15 MPH over, and I'm feeling comfy with my radar detector protecting me (my mistake). Cop in the median flips on his lights and takes me down. I have my hands on the wheel, registration out (I know) and an apologetic look on my face. I explain that I didn't know how fast I was going, but wouldn't be shocked if slightly above the limit. Cop says yeah - 15 above. I apologize, and proceed to tell him that I am knew to my job, nervous about my 8 AM meeting, and that the car belongs to the company (as it said on the registration) and they check my license once a month. He looks sypathetic and 5 minutes later he comes out with a $150 ticket. Said he thought about what I said, but couldn't justify giving the Mom he pulled over 5 minutes earlier a ticket for doing the same thing, and not giving me one. He goes on to state that he was half way through writing me a warning ticket, but couldn't justify it and stopped. Suggests




Ernie, I got stopped yesterday for speeding and followed you suggestions. Got off with a warning. Thanks, Brian




Here is one that POSITIVELY will not work. DO NOT have a sense of humor with the cop. I was 16, my first ticket. A California stop. I politely asked the cop if I could please stop twice at the next stop sign . Didn't work. He told me if I wasn't such a " typical teenage smart ass" he would have just given me a warning. Heather




Master Ernie,You saved my Ass!!! I read your "How to get out of a speeding ticket" mail and used your suggestions just last night.I was doing 77 in a 65 after dropping a friend off at the bar when I came over a hill there was a construction zone. The limit dropped off from 65 to 40 in about 50 feet. I went through the construction zone on the way to the bar but forgot about it on the way back. Well, on my return trip there were 4 State Patrols setting up a speed trap. Before I could hit my brakes they tagged me. I pulled over, put on my emergency lights, turned on the dome light and kept my hands on the wheel. When he walked up I showed him my CCW permit and explained that I didn't have a pistol on me but I did have a small pocket knife. He was very happy that I told him this because he would have pulled it up on me when he looked for warrants.He asked for my Reg., ID, and Ins.. This is where I changed your stance a bit. I gave him my ID and Ins proof but acted like I couldn't find the Reg. I did this to giv




Hear my wisdom my children. Hear my words as truth. -- Ernie



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