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I was working at the local county jail back in '93 when I witnessed the most disturbing thing that I have ever seen before or ever expect to again.

I came to work as usual at 3 p.m. and was making my usual rounds. When I went to the booking area there was a woman standing in the little cage staring at me as I passed. I thought she looked a little crazy, but I didn't think another thing about it. I was used to crazy, but in the next few hours, this woman would drastically re-define the word.

Being a jailer I had witnessed many disgusting and unpleasant things and was not easily shocked or surprised. I sat down after my rounds to do some paperwork when I looked up at the monitor to the camera that we had trained on the booking cage. This woman was very close to the front of the cage. In fact she had thrust her pelvis up to the front the desk that sits in front of the cage. There's an opening there where the prisoners puts the content of his or her pockets.

On the right corner of the desk is the breathalyzer, the machine that measures the alcohol content a person has when they blow into a tube that is attached. This woman somehow got this tube and slid about a quarter of it up her pussy. When the matron on duty ran back to make her stop, this woman just went nuts. She started throwing everything onto the floor that she could get her hands on while screaming at the top of her lungs. There were some other officers there at the time so we decided to put this crazy bitch in the 'blue room' or padded cell.

When you put someone in the padded cell they have to be naked. The jailers put in the men, and the matrons put in the women. The matron that night put this nut in the blue room with no trouble, but when she tried to get her clothes, she started getting nasty. I and two other male officers had to tackle this chick and wrestle her clothes away from her and one got a nasty bite in the process. We ran out the door just ahead of her and almost didn't get the door closed. This bitch was a strong one. We locked her in and the night resumed normally for awhile.

I made my usual rounds upstairs where the majority of the population of inmates was housed. I started down the stairs for the third time when I caught whiff of an unbearable stench that could be mistaken for nothing but shit. I just figured Crazy Bitch had crapped in the blue room. This is where things started getting worse and worse. We opened the door to check on her and got the biggest shock of our lives. She had shit alright, but she had grabbed it by the hands full and smeared it over every inch of her body. I can't remember seeing a clean spot on her. It was about this time that we found out she was menstruating when she stuck her shit caked hands into her twat and pulled them back out covered with shit and blood.

Now I know that you think that it couldn't get any worse right? Wrong. She started eating the blood and shit off of her hands. I mean she was slurping and chewing like she hadn't had a meal in a week. It was at this time I slammed the door and decided I would have no more to do with it.

I had to go outside to get some fresh air and puke up my liver. Meanwhile the crisis center was called and they came down and had to stun gun this shit eater and give her two big shot of something to knock her out. I went back in the jail in time to see her laid out on the floor in front of the blue room. They made the trustees clean her up with soap and water. I walked in to see her lying there with her mouth wide open with shit and blood caked in the tops of all of her back teeth. They got her as clean as they could, and shipped her off to the state hospital that very night.

The floor in front of the blue room where she was laying had a big human shaped shit stain for a few days after she left.

My father is a retired police officer and he said in all the years he worked he never saw or heard of anything to top that. Now I have the pleasure of always being able to beat the nastiest story anyone can come up with.

~Wade