E R N I E ' S H O U S E O F W H O O P A S S
She's An American Bad Ass.
THIS PROGRAM MAY CONTAIN SCENES OF VIOLENCE, STRONG LANGUAGE, ADULT SITUATIONS, AND NUDITY AND THEREFORE MAY BE UNSUITABLE FOR CHILDREN UNDER 17. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
PREVIOUSLY ON EHOWA: "Yesterday morning a friend of mine shipped out for a year's deployment in Iraq. She is a 24 year old medic ...Her unit will be assigned to a forward command post near Tikrit, Iraq, which if any of you read the newspapers know is Saddam's hometown and one of the last bastions for his supporters. We lose soldiers there almost every week...I don't fear so much for her physical safety; I think the times of this war when a combat medic will have to routinely race into enemy fire to rescue a wounded comrade have faded away. No, I think by the time a medic will be called under today's circumstances, it will be to try to save the life of some other poor bastard who's fallen victim to a sniper attack, RPG assault, or homemade bomb explosion. Sometimes she'll succeed, and sometimes, well, she won't. I fear more for any emotional scars she may carry back home with her, than any physical ones."
So let's take a look at some of our guy's handiwork, shall we? First off, an auction. Anyone want to buy a slightly used yellow car? It's got about 80,000 miles, manual transmission, red interior, and will need a little work including a new front and rear windshields, and a good scrubbing.
Here I believe we have wounded insurgent guy number one, whom I have dubbed Johnny Ring-Around-The-Collar. Dude, wash that shirt before you go out and attack in public, will you?
Next up for your viewing pleasure is Johnny Red Cheeks. I tried to read what's on his t-shirt but I can't make it out (perhaps "I attacked American soldiers and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"?) so who knows.
Now we come to one of my favorites. I ask that you revisit this picture and notice that bullet hole in the rear door. I've come to know this young man who was sitting in the back as as Johnny Three Knees, for obvious reasons. Man that looks like that hurts. Here, let's take a closer look! Looks like someone's soccer career is over.
And finally, we have one of the two young chaps who tried to fire mortar rounds. Obviously attacking our troops is very exhausting work, because thing little fella had to lay down and take a quick nap. A dirt nap. Hey it's never too late to stop and smell the roses. or perhaps, lay back and stare at the stars! Hey buddy, mind if I pick your brain about something? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Now some of you might be a little upset at my lackadaisical attitude towards the violent deaths these men suffered, or perhaps put off by the straightening of Johnny five crooked fingers. And well first off, I really don't give a fuck. But alas, I will engage your concerns for just a minute. It's as simple as this. These guys, who suddenly spoke good Engligh when it was convient for them to ask for something, didn't approach this beautiful young woman with flowers and chocolates or ask her to the movies. They approached her with these things and they wanted to kill her. So like she said, fuck them and their crooked fingers.
She's an... American Bad Ass. Watch her kick. You can roll with rock, or you can suck her dick. She's a porno flick, She's like amazing grace. She's gonna fuck some Joe's after she rock that place.
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