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The Poor Girl Is Hooked On Snorting Coke.

Insurgo. as promised, here's Eric's core of 2,354. He did not however, maintain the lead and was beaten first by Connery with 2,633 -- also notice the ERNIE BLOWS GOATS score -- and then Aaron held onto the lead for quite awhile with a 3,287. But alas, he too succumbed to Mr. Tarkanian's 3,943. That sir, is one big fucking tower. So there you have it... sorry they weren't posted earler, but I had that issue with the images server.

The horrible aftermath of the cyclone in Myanmar - this video shows everything from dead cattle to dead villagers after the vicious cyclone swept through there. Even Rambo would be shocked, and for him, killin is as easy as breathin'.

Ben Fry has his baseball 'Salary vs Performance' chart up and running again. As usual, the Yankees suck. And wow, who knew the Sox had dropped to the two slots in regards to highest payroll? Cheap fuckers.

mummies were so plentiful when first discovered that they were ground up and sold as fertilizer and put into medicines...

use your mouse to guide the joe little uh, platypus(?) to the other side of the chasm and fix that water pipe!

Yes, I Know The Images Server Is Down. Be Patient, Bitches!

The current leader in Insurgo is Eric with 2,354 meters - only I can't post his screen cap because the images server is fucked up. SO when it comes back to life, I'll be sure to show you. Until then, you'll just have to trust me. We're working on said server now, so stay tuned as we have a lot of stuff to do. Speaking of which, here's a list of things I did last night.

Bear Grylls eats a frighteningly large beetle larva in this clip from Discovery's Man Vs. Wild.

colossal castle or humble home? same price – your choice

...he escaped from a derailed train, a door-less plane, a bus crash, a car into flames, another 2 car accidents...

Gone Golfing. Full Update Tomorrow Instead!

zero x motorcycle: 100% lithium-ion electric, 40 mile range, weighs only 140 pounds

angryelephant - burnetedferrari - flippedpickup - fueleconomy - rippedoffvette - sanfrantraffic - unfortunateparking

Peace, Daniel Son. Peace.

I was having an out-of-body experience and almost astral-traveled away yesterday, so I grounded myself and got centered with the help of my spirit guides and then the phone rang, and sensing the negative vibrations, I threw the I-Ching and checked my numerology chart, nearly having a primal, but my energy was too blocked. So I did some bioenergetics and self-parenting, took some flower essences and ate an organic oat bran ginseng muffin, but my inner child wasn't feeling nurtured yet. To fix this, I had a Rice Dream Frozen Pie, which, of course, made me hyper, so I did the relaxation response technique I had just learned at the Self Healing Angst Tree Defoliating Center while listening to my subliminal tapes.

But that left me feeling depersonalized, so I did some polarity work, foot reflexology, and past life regression, then rebirthed myself, and called Moon Beam, my body worker, to make an appointment for a Shiatsu/Reike/Rolfing/Feldenkreis/Swedish/Japanese deep tissue massage. Unfortunately, she flaked out and never returned my call, so I decided to energize my crystals and do some positive imagery because all my visualization techniques and affirmations made my space feel invaded. So to get empowered, I got a psychic reading from Mother Heart Love around the issue of my assertiveness so I could feel my radiance and have some energy for my psycho calisthenics and inversion swing before my harmonic brain wave synergy session. This made me more focused for my actualization seminar, holistic healing class and dream workshop, which in turn made me clearer for my Gestalt behavioral cognitive transpersonal Reichian-Jungian-Freudian-Ericksonian session at the hot springs, but my aura was too weak for my trance channeling group, so I fasted until noon to recharge my chakras.

At that point, I sensed my intuition was high and my cycle was focused, so I turned on my ion generator to open up for my Neural Linguistic Programming session. But I needed to have my pyramid recharged before my guided synchronicity meditation, so I got some craniosacral therapy, which aligned me for the fire walk between my tarot card reading and my sensory deprivation tank appointment. But even after all that, I felt what I truly needed was a meaningful relationship to mirror myself, so I went to my personal shaman, and then to my guru, but they were no help, so instead I went to the Intensive Whole Life Earth Rebirth Cosmic Expo Symposium Workshop to find someone who really knew what was going on. That didn't help either, so I locked myself in a calcium coated Orgone Box and meditated until 9PM.

None of it really worked for me, so drank a twelve pack of beer - and dude, did I feel right with the world. Oh, and DJ is in the lead in the latest challenge of Insurgo.

the russians are parading their military hardware -- including icbm's -- down main street again. this should end well.

guys, if you're going to the gym in hopes of getting a better body, this is what you should aspire to avoid.

ladies, if you're going to the gym in hopes of getting a better body, this is what you should aspire to.

an rescue operation in iraq - a rescue operation in thailand

hey hillary we're not trying to tell you anything but...

Sex Offender Registries.

The other day I surfed over to the National Sex Offender Registry and looked up all the registered offenders in my neighborhood. There weren't many, and the ones that did show up weren't anything to get excited about, but it presented me with a very valid question. Why do sex offenders have to register? I mean if they're on parole, then they have to keep the police up to date on their addresses, so why do we the general public need to know their whereabouts? And I'm not suggesting Megan's Law is a bad thing, I just see two fundamental flaws in the idea.

First, let's say I suddenly had two neighbors move in at the same time, one on each side of me. Neighbor-A on my left raped a child ten years ago, and thus shortly after setting down his couch, proceeds to knock on my door and inform me he's a diaper sniper. Of course I go up in arms, and with the assistance of my fellow neighbors, make his life a living hell and drive him out of the neighborhood despite the fact that he was a quiet person who kept to himself. Meanwhile, Neighbor-B on my right is absent from all this as he too remains quiet and keeps to himself. Because what we don't know is ten years ago he didn't rape a child, he killed one. But since he's not required to register as a sex offender, as there's nothing sexual about slitting a little girl's throat and burying her in a cement filled fifty gallon drum, he continues to live in obscurity. Now I don't want to be Captain Obvious here, but of the two choices, wouldn't you consider a child murderer more of a threat than a child molester? I know some of you will point to statistics suggesting that sex offenders are more likely to repeat their crimes, and okay, I'm sure that's true. But let me ask you: would you rather live next to a rapist with a one-in-two chance of repeating his crime, or a murderer with a one-in-four chance of putting on an encore performance? If one were to rationalize that sexual offenders need to be kept tabs on because they might still be a danger to society, then why are they even on the streets to begin with? Keep their asses locked up if they're still considered dangerous. You wouldn't let a murderer out on parole if you thought he was still a danger to society, why do we do it with rapists and child molesters?

Second, the reason the murder doesn't have to register is, he's presumed to have paid his debt to society. He was convicted of a crime and sentenced to X-years of imprisonment and Y-years of parole. That was the punishment society deemed appropriate for his crime. And after paying his X+Y debt to society, he is considered a free man. He is not restricted as to where he can live, he is not required to inform his neighbors of his past misdeeds, nor is he required to notify the local police that he's living in their jurisdiction. And why stop there? Personally, I'd want to know if my new neighbor had been convicted for a string of home invasions, or auto thefts, or dealing crack, or beating up old people? Honest question, and I'm not being an asshole here -- why aren't their registries for these crimes? Sure the police can see an individual's criminal record, but there's no equivalent of a public sex offender registry for murderers. Well, the reason is these people have paid their X+Y debt to society, so they're considered square with the house again. Isn't that one of the basic fundamentals of our legal system? So at the risk of sounding like the limp wristed DA from the original Dirty Harry, why aren't the same standards applied to sex offenders? Again, an honest question I'm asking purely out of ignorance, so if you have an answer, lay it on me. I just don't understand why a child molester is treated worse than a child killer; or rather more to the point, why a child killer is treated less harshly than a child killer.

Oh, and this week's game challenge is to see if you can build a tower higher than my 601 meters. Remember to put EHOWA in your screen name when you submit your high score -- and you MUST submit your high score to the leaderboard to qualify!

history's worst software bugs. you mess with the cia, you get the bug.

ten photos from hiroshia, japan on august 7th, 1945 - you mess with the bull, you get the horns

nagasaki, japan on august 8th compared with august 10th, 1945 - you mess with the bull, you get the horns

Some Random Offensives.

What do you call a Puerto Rican midget? A spec.

Did you hear what the dyslexic Highway Patrolman did on New Year's? He spent the whole night handing out I.U.D.s

What do black people get when they pick their nose? Noogers.

One night at the dinner table, Jill commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me any more!" "Nonsense, darling," replied John. "You just cook better now."

Although born to a Catholic family, Chester had always wanted to be Jewish. As a senior in college, he decided to take the plunge and go through the formal conversion process. He studied Judaism all semester. Finally, he felt he was ready to take the test and complete the conversion. On the appointed day, he arrived at the Rabbi's office, ready to begin. The Rabbi said, "I'm sorry, but before I give you the test, I must discuss my fee, It's $5,000." "$5,000!" exclaimed Chester, "That's a lot of money. How about $500?" "Congratulations, you pass." said the Rabbi.

Girl: Do you believe in puppy love? Boy: I tried it once, but their assholes are too small.

Two Iranians meet in Miami. One starts to greet the other in Farsi, the language of their native country.The other Iranian waved him away contemptuously and said, "We're in America now. Speak Spanish!"

What's the difference between a black guy and a letter? You can send a letter back where it came from.

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."

Bear Grylls eats a frighteningly large beetle larva in this clip from Discovery's Man Vs. Wild.

If God didn't intend for us to have oral sex, why are penises shaped like hotdogs and vaginas like tacos?

Mr. and Mrs. Cload came before the judge for their divorce hearing. The judge asked, "What are the grounds?" Mrs. Cload replied, "Cruel and inhuman punishment, your Honor. He tied me to the bed and then forced me to sing "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" while he pissed all over me." The judge shuddered and said, "Good God, that's disgusting!" "Damn right, your Honor," Mrs. Cload yelled. "He knows how much I hate that fucking song!"

Went to the sex shop the other day and bought a Palestinian sex doll. When I got it home, it blew itself up.

Why does a dog lick his ass? Because he knows he will be licking your face in about 5 minutes.

everlast (whitey ford) squares off with eminem in this classic rap battle.

which tech ceo earned just $1 in 2007? who raked in $74 million before retiring? ceo fat cats...

How I Celebrated My Birthday.

12:12am (concluding activities from the previous Friday) - Sursfide Cadillacs win $790 for coming in at 7th place.

12:20am - During "Fun Night" at bowling I bowl a perfect 300 during a game of "9 pin no-tap" -- don't worry I'm not quite that cool, 9-pin is when 9's count as strikes so everyone looks like ahero.

12:30am - My "perfect" 300 wins me an additional $40 prize money. I am the Best Bowler In The World (BBITW).

12:45am - I place the envelope with $400 in prize money in my pack pocket.

12:50am - I drink my seven hundredth shot of Jack Daniels.

12:55am - The Surfside Cadillacs leave for a victory breakfast at Perkins.

01:00am - We arrive at Perkins and are seated immediately because we are the Surfside Cadillacs.

01:05am - I order an Everything Omlette.

01:10am - My Everything Omlette arrives.

01:11am - My Everything Omlette is eaten.

01:30am - We pay the bill.

01:45am - Dropped off at home.

01:50am - Begin a movie. What movie? I dunno.

03:45am - Movie ends. How was the movie? I dunno.

08:15am - Wake up.

08:20am - Realize that I can't find my envelope with the $400+ in prize money.

08:21am - Begin to tear my fucking house upside down while searching for said envelope.

09:00am - The envelope is officially declared 'Lost at sea'.

10:10am - Buy six big motherfucking steaks for cookout later.

17:10pm - Put six big motherfucking steaks on the grill. Burners set on low.

17:30pm - Flip six big motherfucking steaks. First side is absolutely perfect.

17:40pm - Check on six big motherfucking steaks. All is going well.

17:41pm - Turn my back in six big motherfucking steaks.

17:42pm - There is a huge 4 alarm fire in my grill. On all four sides, flames are rolling up from under the cover. I lift the cover. It's a Backdraft.

17:43pm - I manage to pull the six big motherfucking steaks from the grill. They look like that Iraqi soldier who got caught ont he Highway of Death in Basra, only withot the dumb look on his face.

17:45pm - The six big motherfucking steaks are somewhat salvagable, but still a far cry of their former glory.

21:00pm - Fuck this, I'm going to bed.

private first class monica brown - i bet her balls are bigger than yours.

here is a collection of some popular misconceptions and our explanations to help clear the air

the diary of a sensitive lover - yes my dear, any four things off the dollar menu.

Insert Your Favorite Birthday Weekend Joke Here.

everyonewantsacleanass - ironmanfan - moredogsoncycles - passthetequila - sonneedssalvation - tankvscar - youngpitbull

thinking of trading-in that suv for a fuel efficient sedan? good luck!

It's A Birthday Bonanza.

balltotheballs - blondiesstripping - canyouhearmenow2 - cautionunevensidewalk - cnnpriorities - dickgoeshunting

three things we learned from the accidental u.s. nuke flyby

What Brings May Flowers?

I was on my motorcycle yesterday and had a person cut me off for the first time. The driver was a soccermom in an SUV (what else?) trying to get over into the right lane and so she could pull into the Hoolihans parking lot on Cape Coral Parkway. In all honesty, it wasn't that bad. And to tell you the truth, it kind of reminded me of driving in Boston. A single trip through the city during rush hour and the same thing will happen to you no less than three or four times. You kind of get jaded after awhile, and I've forgotten how exhilarating getting cut off can be. I felt alive, man! That's not to say I'm going to stop paying attention or drive any less defensively; quite the contrary. I think this new found danger will sharpen my driving skills back up to their previous glory, when I used to venture out into big city traffic and take my life into my hands five days a week. The thrill of battle! Kill or be killed! Every man is your enemy! Show no quarter! So to help get myself back in the spirit of Boston driving, I honked and flipped her and her kids off as I drove past. Pay attention, cunt.

Bond with your animals and help the gasoline crisis - ride the scooter for two. I notice the dog has sunglasses on, but where's his fucking helmet, eh? By the way, you'd think that was a pretty rare event, but low and behold, you'd be wrong.

when a good time turns around, you must whip it. you will never live it down, unless you whip it. no one gets their way, until they whip it. whip it good.

so uh, what's the price of a pint of beer in your country? if it's cheaper than $4.20, you'd better make me a bed.