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mattf@pacificcoast.net wrote:

Cocksucker.

Your website sucks the big wet one. Your jokes fucking suck but must importantly you suck, just as you suck the crack of your Mama's fat ass.

Have a nice life faggot

Ernie wrote:

Big wet what? Willy? Worm? Willy Wanka? Watermelon? Wombat?

mattf@pacificcoast.net wrote:

Jesus H Christ, you fucking americans are stupid. Must we explain everything to you? Maybe I should ennunciate what I'm saying.

In regards to your question "Big Wet What?". Dick clue boy, just like the 1 inch willy you have and the dick that your father sticks up your shit soaked ass.

Don't fuck with me little man or I'll be vimy ridging your ass. I'll crush your little community-college educated mind, soul and body.

Here is a hint for you; hop in your car, tape a hose to the exhaust, turn the mother fucking on and soak up the fumes. Its the only way snively little bitches like get a high.

So in closing, you fucking dumb-ass yank...CANADA KICKS ASS. WHILE USA LICKS ASS.

I know, I know. This was an obvious troll for a flame, which you all know I don't normally entertain. But I figured, "What the fuck... it's Christmas!"

Matt,

Aw c'mon now, don't be shy. Don't tell me you've never eaten ass before. I know I have. Grab a chick's ass cheek in both hands, push em down on the bed, bury your face in there and watch em squirm and squeeze the sheets. "You haven't dinked her until you've eaten sphincter!"

Yeah boy, you haven't lived until you've eaten ass. Gotta get em nice and clean though, for obvious reasons. Right outta the shower is nice and tasty!

So you appear to have this inferiority complex working with ya, but I find that most common with Canucks. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that half of your country speaks French, a language used by the very country that has surrendered to virtually every one of its neighbors at some point in the past 100 years. No seriously, I'd be ashamed too. For Christ sake's man, your fucking national symbol is a fucking leaf. From a fucking maple tree. Matt, I eat maple syrup, so if you think about it every morning I devour a little bit of your country essence. I guess that'd be why I've had these brown runny shits that have been sticking to the side of the bowl lately. And another thing I noticed, what's with all you fucking Canucks calling people, "Dick Clue Boy"? That's the second time one of your fucking sperm beans called me that. Now I don't know for sure what it means, but since it's being used in refernce to me, it obviously has to be something to the effect of, "Hey That's One Cool Motherfucker," or maybe, "Oh Supreme Ruler of the Internet."

Do us all a favor, if you're going to spend your money down here (you know, discounted 40%) the least you could do is pick up our slang.

Believe it or not, I was actually warming up to you people Up There. Honestly. I mean it's been awhile since one of you has gone and shot your mouth off. Hell I even have one chick up in Ontario teaching me to swear in French, modest language that it is. And I still have a trip to Barrie Canada on my "To Do List."

But noooooooooo, then you have to come along and knock everyone from Canada back down a few pegs again.

So let me ENUNCIATE a few things for you.

I was driving home to visit my parents for the holidays and decided that in retaliation for your inflammatory e-mail, I was going to smash in to a few Canadian built cars. But oh wait, no one in Canada can actually make a car, you all drive American ones. Then I thought hey I'm going to shoot down a Canadian built plane! Oh but wait again, that's right, you're too fucking dumb to build your own so in stead you spend half your gross national product buying the old Boeings we scrapped out of our fleets sixteen years ago. Alright dammit, then I'm going to buy a Canadian built computer and fuck ...right... too dumb to make those too. Sigh. I settled for buying a hockey puck, shitting on it, and throwing it into the Genessee river. Hope that's sufficient.

Might I take this opportunity to point out the top of the "Canada has" list, is Michael Myers. Or as I call him, "Mr. I shoud have stopped making movies after Austin Powers because from there my career went straight down the ol shitter after everyone realized that I don't truly have any talent and being that close to Elizabeth Hurley's gorgeous globes was as close to cool as I was ever going to get."

Lucky for you I know there's still a few cool Canadians up there.

So fulfill a special reqest for me. Take thirteen maple leaves and stick them up your ass, then wrap yourself in one of those funny red coats your mounted police use, and have someone beat you to death with a broken hockey stick. Thanks. I part with lyrics sung by the great John Mellencamp.

L-I-C-K in the USA!
L-I-C-K in the USA!
L-I-C-K in the USA!
Oh yeah!
Lickin in the USA!

Vimy Ridgin YOUR ass,
Ernstabating

ps - I never went to college, I'm too smart for those places.