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From: SpiderMBA SpiderMBA@pacbell.net
To: forums@ehowa
Date: Sun, 18 Jan 2004
Subject: Re: Welcome to EHOWA DISCUSSION FORUMS Forums

Delete me from your idiotic forum.
1. Tom looks like a Neanderthal.
2. Your silly rules pretend to have "standards" when the profanity throughout the website contradicts any semblance of "standards."
3. Once "activated" I could not post anything.
You people must all be Neolibs.

From: "John" John@PentaPacific.com
To: webmaster@ehowa
Date: Fri, 30 Jan 2004
Subject: "Machine Guns" your ass

Dear Webmaster, Whoever told you that the rounds destroying those three terrorists are "machine gun"?
Hello! Try cannon fire.
You want energy, the exploding round lifts up the deuce and a half when it explodes underneath. Machine guns don't tear a man up like that first guy who took a direct hit.
20mm cannon at least, maybe 30 mm.
Reply to SpiderMBA@pacbell.net

From: "John" John@PentaPacific.com
To: webmaster@ehowa
Date: Fri, 30 Jan 2004
Subject: 30 mm cannon, NOT "machine gun"

Just as I suspected. 30mm cannon
http://www.technosci.com/capabilities/weapons.php
Reply to SpiderMBA@pacbell.net
"When the student is ready, the master will appear."

From: Ernie
To: "John" John@PentaPacific.com
Sent: Friday, January 30, 2004 4:46 PM
Subject: Re: "Machine Guns" your ass

Gee, or maybe it was the 30MM like I fucking said in the article, eh?
And the rounds are HE -- but the human body won't present the moving shell with enough resistance to slow it down enough to trigger the shell's fuse. So while the shells will explode when hitting the 2 and 1/2 ton truck, they'll just pass through the human body without exploding.

From: "John" John@PentaPacific.com
To: Ernie
Date: Mon, 2 Feb 2004
Subject: Re: "Machine Guns" your ass

Whoa, somebody must have peed in your cornflakes, lad.
Have a smoke and settle down.
You're way too anal.

Dear John,

I've discovered a disturbing pattern when I'm being written to by you old people lately. You all seem to feel I'm the appropriate outlet for two things.

One, the need to create words out of thin fucking air. First Steven calls me a "pornomeistermerchant", and now you declare me I'm a "neolib". What the fuck? I wonder is a blundering of the English language is the first sign of Alzheimers or something. Do you remember the first time you saw a duck, John? I sure don't.

Secondly, the need to feel you have to correct me on things. For starters, let's take a quick glance at said article... yep, yep, it looks like I identified the projectiles in question as 30mm shells no less than three fucking times, not to mention giving you -- stupid reader -- a link detailing exactly what kind of fucking gun it was. My point being, I was pretty well fucking aware of the boom-boom in question, before you stepped in, you wrinkly balled, pasty skinned, walking liverspot.

Furthermore, I'd like to address your original email from the 18th of January when you referred to one of my forum administrators as a "Neanderthal". From which do you make this assumption? Because of the photo on him wearing cast on his wrist? Surely John, you must know how Tom broke his wrist don't you? Yes you see he was forearm deep fisting Mrs Quick when she sneezed. Her kegel muscles having such great tone from being worked over by the gentlemen of the 2nd Marine Division, snapped his wrist like a dry chicken bone. I had to set his wrist myself and quite frankly, I think you owe Tom an apology, John.

But wait, there's more. You claimed that "Once activated I could not post anything." on the forums. Well, hmm, let's see if my neighbor's retarded three year old can't find an answer to that question...

-- There she goes John, she using my mouse!
-- Oh, she's opening the forums!
-- Oh she's clicking on the "Ehowa Forum FAQ and Rules" thread!

(she didn't catch the text below it that said "Full posting and access privileges are available only to paid forum members." but let's give her a minute, after all she *is* retarded...)

-- There she goes, clicking on the "The Rules and Membership Information - LEARN HOW TO POST!" thread!
-- Wait, what's that she's highlighting?

"Reading and browsing the forums is free. In order to keep the assholes from posting however, we had to implement some method to keep out the (a) 13 year old kids wanting to post warez and (b) assholes just wanting to get their rocks off by stirring things up. Our solution? You have to paypal the forums $5 in order to post -- something kids can't do and also serves as a little incentive to make us all place nice."

So there you have it John, a three year old retarded girl with a hockey helmet can figure out why you couldn't post, but you couldn't. Bet that makes all those years sucking professor cock to get your MBA really worth it, eh?

The rules are in place to keep assholes and 13 year olds out. Given that you're *obviously* not a 13 year old, that kind of narrows things down a touch for us, doesn't it. You're walking talking proof my rules work -- those not smart enough to figure out the rules can't come in and fuck things up for the rest of us who are.

You're about as witty and charming as a bag full of clown eyes.

Please eat a lot of butter and gravy, don't exercise, and then watch a lot of scary movies.

Ernie "Lib This Fucker" Corleone.

p.s. I will now print out your four emails, and make a trip to the mens room to dispatch of my lunch. I will then wipe my asshole with your words and after I flush, will smile and watch both you and your memory swirl around the toiletbowl of life before finally disappearing with a satisfying gurgle.