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At 07:26 AM 5/15/01 -0400, "Bobby" mailto:morrisbg@kih.net wrote:
Add=morrisbg@kih.net
Age=33
bra=
Joke=

At 11:46 AM 5/15/01 -0400, EHOWA Subscribe Daemon wrote:
I'm not going to let you subscribe because you're obviously too fucking stupid to be on my list. You presses the fucking subscribe button five fucking times, three of which were filled with blank information. Hopefully you'll have walked out in front of a fucking bus by now.

At 02:33 PM 5/15/01 -0400, "Bobby" mailto:morrisbg@kih.net wrote:
fuck you stupid fucking cocksucking son-of-a-bitch.. dumb motherfuckers like you fuck their own mothers and suck their own daddy's dick. So kiss my fucking ass bastard....

Dear Bobby,

I woke up this morning and to be quite honest with you, I wasn't sure how to reply to your letter. I mean do I reply harshly? Or kindly? Or compassionately? Try to heal the wounds of your life?

So then I did what I always to when I have an issue of great ponderance... I took a shit. Yep, sat there with my bathrobe and skivvies down around my ankles and thought of you whilst my sphincter did aerobics giving birth to yet another Kentuckian. But no matter how much time I wanted to dedicate to you, the inevitable splash of water upon my bum told me time had run out. The moment to decide your fate was at hand. I stood, turned, and looked down.

I shit black.

Bobby, surely you can see how this isn't going to work out in your favor.

You little fuck.

Just for the record, before I give you a good ass cuttin' let's take a look at the verbage on the subscribe form... "Please press the 'Subscribe' button only once! Thanks!"

Yep, sure as shit, that's what it reads. And I was even fucking polite about it! But ya know Bobby, come to think of it, it also reads something else of significant importance whenever some worthless fucking sandbagger such as yourself tries to submit the form without contributing a joke... "You must contribute a joke. If you do not, I will post your e-mail address to my website for all 7,500 daily visitors to spam the shit out of. All jokes are reviewed my me personally, so dont get fucking cute and just type in a bunch of text, either."

Curiously, nowhere does it read, "Oh, unless your name is Bobby and you're an inbred redneck fuck from Kentucky. In that case you can't possibly be expected to be able to fucking read this to begin with so please just go and do whatever the fuck it is that 'you people' do when you're not chawing tobacco and fucking your sister's cousin's nephew's coondog."

Note the irony.

Am I asking something monumentally difficult here? Nay, nay I am not. I'm simply asking you to read the fucking screen and follow a few simple fucking instructions. Press the button once...send in a joke. I'm not asking you to fucking cure cancer here, you thimbleheaded fuck, I'm asking you to do what you're told and in reward will give you more nights of enjoyment then that vibrating pussy you found under your stepfather's bed.

And you can't even fucking get that right.

So now you must be punished! Disciplined. Reprimanded.

Bobby Morris, for crimes committed against humanity, sanity, and just plain good fucking common sense, I hereby sentence you to a term of not less then ten weeks at the maximum security correctional facility of the alt.* newsgroups, where you will have your rear mailbox assaulted daily by such known felons as...

alt.sex.binaries.erotica.nudity.captainpiccard
alt.sex.binaries.erotica.hamsters.ducttape
alt.sex.personals.pedophiles.necropheliac
alt.sex.personals.gangbang.crisco.shampoobottle

Personal ads will be entered on your behalf, whereupon you will be violently anally dilated until your bunghole is dead.

May God have mercy on your soul.

Judge Ernie,

The Hangin' (and hung) Judge.