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Re: SmartAss

At 11:36 AM 6/27/01 -0400, JeremyB@libraryvideo.com wrote:

Although I visit your website on occasion, I've decided not to any longer. After reading your take on Philly strippers, where you describe Philly as being a shithole, I've decided that you are a complete moron. Being that you flew to Providence, I'm guessing that you're either from the largest cesspool of crap in America, New York, or from Boston, a nice but extremely dull little city. I'm not quite sure why I'm wasting my time writing you, being that people from Philly cherish the fact that dipshits like yourself actually go to King of Prussia and Delaware Ave. and leave the hundreds of worthwhile bars, clubs, and venues to the people that belong there... us. So go ahead and write more of your uneducated, backwoods, WWF watching views of our great city in hopes of discouraging more slack-jawed troglodytes like yourself from taking away our precious air.

Jeremy (Philly, PA)

P.S. - Suggestion: try using some original material instead of biting off of all the sites that you list links to.

Mr. Burger,

C'mon you impotent failure of a half a pussy, I know why you wrote to me! It's painfully obvious in fact! Look at the time of your letter -- 11:36am -- strip clubs don't open until noon so you didn't know what to do with yourself until then! You'd already masturbated twice, each time emitting a painfully disappointing thin wad of man juice, and so thought you'd take your frustrations out on me. Shame on you.

Ya know, I think I remember you from my last trip to Philadelphia. I was at Show'N'Tell's, drunk of course because I have to be anytime I travel to Pennsylvania, and I think you were there too. Yeah, I remember. Ya see folks, there's one of these social shit suckers in every strip club coast to coast. He's the hairy chested fat guy with the receding hairline who is wearing the Tommy Hilfiger shirt and Tommy Hilfiger pants, and goes to watch his trophy girlfriend dance. He then gets some kind of a penis-envy hard on when she dribbles out a little more attention to him than she does to those around him. This ladies and gentlemen, is the "slack jawed" equivalent to a dog pissing on a tree.

Jeremy nurses a watered down vodka-tonic all night because he can't afford a second -- all the money from his $6 an hour job he gives to his girlfriend $1 at a time. Not that making $6 an hour is dishonorable, but given you work for your daddy's construction business you should be doing better for yourself.

I always laugh aloud at people like you.

For those of you unfamiliar, Philadelphia strip clubs have this wholesome and yet self esteem building facet that I haven't seen in any other strip club during my travels. You don't merely just *hand* a dollar bill to a Philly stripper, nor do you place it in her g-string, nor do you even leave it on the table that she's dancing on. In the City of Brotherly Love, the girls actually lay on their backs, spread their legs like they're ready to take on the 101st Airborne, and you actually throw the crumpled up dollar bill *at* her pussy. And if you are so fortunate to actually hit her pink snapper -- the aerodynamics of a mashed up dollar bill are difficult to calculate at best, especially when both you and the dollar are half soaked in booze -- then this lovely creature in all of her divine glory will climb down off that stage and give you a kiss right on the cheek.

Let me put things in perspective for you, Jeremy Jerk Off. It doesnt take any more coaxing to get your girlfriend to play with her pussy in front of a complete stranger than it does to buy a doublecheeseburger at McDonalds.

We've all done it, unwrapped our fast food burger only to be disappointed when we see it all mashed together and oozing cheese and trailing a thin stream of grease down your fingers. Jeremy, that's how your girl's pussy looks to the average guy walking the streets of Philly -- never how it's advertised, looks downright offensive, but somehow always a little more appealing when you're snot hanging drunk.

"Welcome to McDonald's drive through sir, would you like to tray an extra value meal today?"
[turning radio down]"Uh yeah, I'd like a number two with a coke, uh, supersized."
"Your total is $4.19 with tax sir, will there be anything else?"
"Ummmm, well, yeah let me get an order of Jeremy's girlfriend's pussy."
"Very good sir your new total is $5.19, please pull ahead to the first window."

Sure enough I pull up and there's your girl naked in the drive thru window, gleefully thrusting her pussy around the glass like someone's rubbing a big plate of rotten baloney against the window. Jeremy's upset because I come to his town with my rugged good looks and steal all the action. The coast is clear Jer, so back to your dungeons and dragons books, you mouth breathing sludge fuck, because you can have all the Philadelphia air that you want for now. But I'll be back. I always will. And I'll buy your girl every time I do.

Gotta run, Smackdown is on.

Kickin out the trolls and taking Billy Goat's Gruff for myself ...

The Erntastic One.

ps -- EHOWA rocks, and you know it. Jealousy won't get you anywhere.