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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
July 26, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

canadian woman with most annoying voice in the world films collapse of an arch shaped iceberg

comicon 2014: 12 nerds caught staring at cosplay girls - 9 things you didn't know about comicon

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alexandria morgan running in a strapless bra will probably help sell a lot of tom tom gps devices

boobs and such: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - EIGHT - nine - ten - eleven - twelve

July 25, 2014

Hey, Get In Line, Pal.

"It was not clear why Silverman, a doctor for nearly 25 years, was armed at the office. Bernice Ho, a spokeswoman for Mercy Fitzgerald, said Thursday it was against hospital policy for anyone other than security guards to carry weapons."

Okay, another photo challenge: identify this brand of water, and as is customeary for these tough ones, here's a close up of the labels.

Alien: Isolation is an upcoming first-person survival horror stealth game developed by The Creative Assembly and published by Sega, part of the Alien franchise. The game is set in 2137, 15 years after the events of Alien, and follows Amanda, who is investigating the disappearance of her mother Ellen Ripley. A cast reunion from the original movie is happening despite the fact that Alien: Isolation takes place largely 15 years after the events of the original movie, with protagonist Amanda Ripley -- the daughter of Ellen Ripley -- the hero played in the movie (and the game) by Sigourney Weaver; who is aging rather gracefully, by the way. But the game will also feature cutscenes and side-missions that star the original cast – not just Weaver but Tom Skerritt, Yaphet Kotto, Veronica Cartwright, and Harry Dean Stanton.

So I signed my name on number 24! The judge said, "Boy, just one more, I'm gonna throw your ass in the city joint." Looked me in the eye, said, "You get my point?" I say "Yeah!, Oh yeah!" Do you LOVUSA as much as Sarah Palin? Because I don't think you do. Actually, kind of funny, in another article she revealed she was listening to Sammy Hagar's I Can't Drive 55. Good for her.

Uniworld Boutique River Cruise Collection is located in Los Angeles, California and the company operates a fleet of 21 river cruising cruise ships along the rivers of Europe, Russia, Egypt, and China. In April of 2013, Uniworld became the first U.S.-based river cruise line to own and operate a vessel in Italy. Found until recently on Europe's Danube, the 134-passenger River Countess was shipped to Venice on a giant transport vessel to sail indefinitely out of the city on seven-night "Venice & the Po River" itineraries. The trips include an extended stay in Venice as well as several nights on the nearby Po -- the longest river in Italy.

What happens when the right digital still is transposed onto real life at just the right angle? Photographer Francois Dourlen does just that by matching the appropriate photo on his iPhone to the perfect real world situation. ET phone home, bitches!

Chattem is a Chattanooga, Tennessee, producer and marketer of over-the-counter healthcare products, toiletries, dietary supplements, topical analgesics, and medicated skin care products. Originally named the Chattanooga Medicine Company, the company's brand portfolio holds twenty-two brands including Allegra, Gold Bond, Flexall, IcyHot, Rolaids, Bullfrog Sunblock, ACT Anticavity Fluoride Rinse, Sun-In, Pamprin, Dexatrim, Aspercreme, and Selsun Blue. Two-thirds of Chattem's products are produced by the company at its Chattanooga production facilities with the remaining produced by third-party producers.

You animals lovers will be overwhelmed with joy over this one. Albinism is a congenital disorder characterized by the complete or partial absence of pigment in the skin, hair and eyes due to absence or defect of tyrosinase, a copper-containing enzyme involved in the production of melanin. Many animals with albinism lack their protective camouflage and are unable to conceal themselves from their predators or prey; the survival rate of animals with albinism in the wild is usually quite low. Famous albino animals include Migaloo, a humpback whale off the coast of Australia; Pinky, a bottlenose dolphin living in and around in Calcasieu Lake, Louisiana; Snowflake, a Barcelona Zoo gorilla; Snowflake, a Bristol Zoo penguin; and Mahpiya Ska (Sioux for "White Cloud"), a buffalo in Jamestown, North Dakota.

In 1933 Kraft developed a new dressing similar to mayonnaise, but as a less expensive alternative. Premiering at the Century of Progress World's Fair in Chicago in 1933, Miracle Whip was an instant success as a condiment on fruits, vegetables and salads. It is also sold by Mondel?z International (formerly also Kraft Foods) as Miracel Whip throughout Germany. It is often used as an alternative to mayonnaise in recipes, although it is sweeter and has additional ingredients.

Meanwhile in Bischofshofen, Austria, a friendly match between French club Lille and Israeli club Maccabi Haifa was stopped about five minutes from end time when a group of young male pro-Palestinian protesters, reportedly of Turkish origin, invaded the pitch, where they waved flags and attacked some of the Israeli players. So there's that.

The Dukes of Hazzard follows the adventures of "The Duke Boys", cousins Bo Duke and Luke Duke, who live in a rural part of the fictional Hazzard County, Georgia with their attractive cousin Daisy (Catherine Bach) and their wise old Uncle Jesse. They race around in their customized 1969 Dodge Charger stock car, dubbed The General Lee, evading crooked county commissioner Boss Hogg and his inept county sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, and always managing to get caught in the middle of the various escapades and incidents that often occur in the area.

If you want to do productive exploration anywhere in space, you'll need a suitable vehicle. NASA is now testing concepts for a new generation of vehicles, building on lessons learned from the Apollo missions as well as the unmanned rovers on Mars. The Space Exploration Vehicle is designed to be flexible depending on the destination; the pressurized cabin can be used both for in-space missions and for surface exploration of planetary bodies, including near-Earth asteroids and Mars.

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

July 24, 2014

Size Em Up While You Can, Kid. Do That As An Adult, And You get Slapped.

Fabric privacy mesh has never looked better, and is a very popular outdoor fence screen material due to its high quality, silky smooth, finished look and its ability to block out view while allowing for air passage thanks to it's knitted design. Offering a 95% blockage often required by many commerical properties and is a top choice of architects. This is the ultimate screen for tennis courts, private beaches, and commercial properties! Stretches where it should but still maintains stability, and offers a top quality look.

Blackheads are a common problem that affects all skin types, especially those with oily skin. Usually occur around the nose, cheeks, chin and forehead, blackheads are caused by hardened masses of sebum, formed in the ducts or the sebaceous glands. They are direct result of skin pores becoming clogged with sebum and dead skin cells. Unfortunately, it is impossible to reduce the pore size, but you can minimize the amount of gunk that is clogged in them. This girl from London swears by her Clean & Clear Blackhead Clearing Cleanser and so do these two girls as well.

I bet you didn't know about Harrison Ford and James Earl Jones' plot to assassinate Hitler, now did you? See more proof that your world is a lie.

Have you ever wondered why a sheet of glass look green when viewed from a certain angle? The green tint is caused by iron oxide, which is an impurity in the sand used to make the glass. In the glass iron ions absorb in the red (and infra-red) and blue (and ultra-violet) parts of the spectrum, making the glass look green due to the light that remains. However, it is also possible to deliberately add iron oxide, and this gives a deeper green tinted glass, as is used in most residential glass. This is not just for the look of it; the iron absorbs infra-red light, which we feel as heat, and so the tinted glass helps keep the interior cool.

Do you have a touch of Obscessive Compulsive Disorder? If so, you will love these photos, but hate these photos, and love these photos, but hate these photos.

A trampoline is a device consisting of a piece of taut, strong fabric stretched over a steel frame using many coiled springs. People bounce on trampolines for recreational and competitive purposes. The fabric that users bounce on is not elastic in itself; the elasticity is provided by the springs that connect it to the frame, which store potential energy. Recreational trampolines for home use are less sturdily constructed than competitive ones and their springs are weaker. They may be of various shapes, though most are circular, octagonal or rectangular. The fabric is usually a woven polypropylene material or waterproof canvas.

IF YOU WERE/ARE/MAY BE IN THE MARKET FOR A SAIGA 12 SHOTGUN: there are still some Saiga 12's are still available by mail order; $850 isn't as good as the $700 they were two weeks ago, but better than the $1,500 they'll be next month.

If you haven't had the pleasure, check out the vocal track of David Lee Roth singing Runnin' with the Devil. And if you think that acapella performance is disturbing, watch the video for DJ Snake & Lil Jon's Turn Down For What. Now watch the same video, without the music track.

here are five tools you'll need when building your own ak-47

July 23, 2014

I Wonder If There's A Merit Badge For Almost Being Killed By A Border Agent?

State Route 23 is a state highway which runs roughly from Fillmore to Malibu, and consists of three distinct sections. The southern section begins as Decker Canyon Road near Trancas in Malibu, where Route 23 intersects with the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH). This portion provides numerous beautiful vistas of the Santa Monica Mountains and the Pacific Ocean during daytime, but extreme caution is advisable, especially as the road nears the PCH. The middle section, known as the Moorpark Freeway, is a major route for traffic headed between Thousand Oaks and Moorpark. The northernmost section begins at State Route 118 in Moorpark, and heads north as Grimes Canyon Road through orange groves and sandstone cliffs.

No American sport is more romanticized than baseball, which is why baseball makes such a fantastic subject for movies. The audience is already primed to accept the dramatic narrative. All the filmmakers have to do is not blow it. Sadly, many filmmakers do blow it. For every classic baseball film out there -- your Bull Durhams, your Sandlots (Squints made that movie), your Major Leagues -- there's at least one that really, really sucks. It's these baseball movies, the ones that suck, that are the subject of today's list. Take a look and find out how many truly awful baseball movies you've seen. Then make a mental note never to watch them again.

Curel Hand & Cuticle Therapy Cream soothes even the driest hands on contact and continues to moisturize even through repeated hand washings for all-day softness. This non-greasy formula is infused with soy milk, monoi oil, and vitamin E to help soften hands in just one use.

Ernie, Been a long time fan since stick figure days, contributed when I could but hard with a limited income and all that. A boy scout troop from Iowa was on a trip to Alaska and for taking a photo, a fucking photo, they were treated like criminals, had guns drawn on them and everything. The best part is this asshat Charles Vonderheid says "We want to make sure they follow the rules. A Scout is a good citizen. It would be a great lesson in civics for that young man and that troop,” he said. How the hell is it following the rules and being a good citizen to be violated like this by some jack booted thug? Thanks for giving it an look over. Walter

You know, I was discussing the Eric Garner death homicide with a retired cop friend and I asked him, Do you know why the TSA gets such a bad rap? Not because they're repeatedly and flagrantly violating our 1st, 4th and 14th Amendments, but because they do so with such impunity. Little toddlers get molested in the name of security, old ladies get accosted, breast cancer survivors get humiliated, aging veterans get treated like criminals. And We The people complain about it and *nothing ever happens* because those responsible just quote their rules and regulations and procedures. That's why people hate the TSA so much. Because of how powerless We The People feel to keep them in check. Unfortunately, this feeling of unaccountability seems to be a growing phenomenon extending into other branches of law enforcement. Someone else commented there are no US Border Patrol agents assigned to the Alaska/Canadian border, so perhaps they were Customs officers. Look, the vast majority of law enforcement are good peoples. But on the rare occasion when one of them really, really fucks up, they deal with it the same way the Catholic Church dealt with pedophile priests; a shell game of reassignments and transfers. So I dunno, I guess your Scouting friend should consider himself lucky someone didn't feel like shooting a Boy Scout that day? Because if he did, no harm no foul, I guess?

Ever thought about plastic surgery? These 21 disasters may change you mind forever. Poor Nikki Cox.

Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen is an American chain of fried chicken fast food restaurants founded in 1972 in New Orleans, Louisiana. According to a company press release dated June 29, 2007, Popeyes is the second-largest "quick-service chicken restaurant group, measured by number of units", with more than 1,800 restaurants in more than 40 states and the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and over 22 countries worldwide. About thirty locations are company-owned, the rest franchised. As of January 2014, Popeyes has over 2,000 restaurants worldwide according to their website.

Hey Ernie, Can't find where to submit stuff so here it is... a Ho in 1...Roflmao!!! Parnell

Hi Ernie, Penile amputation realized after priapism (prolonged erection) and subsequent necrosis of the penis. Side -effect of an overdose of the anti-depressant Oleptro. I wouldn't be popping too many Viagra, either. Cheers, Charley

Dove is a personal care brand owned by Unilever, whose products are sold in more than 80 countries and are offered for both women and men. The Dove trademark and brand name is currently owned by Unilever. Dove's logo is a silhouette profile of the brand's namesake bird. Products include: antiperspirants/deodorants, body washes, beauty bars, lotions/moisturizers, hair care, and facial care products. Dove is primarily made from synthetic surfactants, soaps derived from vegetable oils such as palm kernel, and salts of animal fats.

Old and busted: Coolio releasing a new hit. The new hotness: Coolio releasing a new hit... ON PORNHUB.

A convex mirror, fish eye mirror or diverging mirror, is a curved mirror in which the reflective surface bulges toward the light source. Convex mirrors reflect light outwards, therefore they are not used to focus light. Such mirrors always form a virtual image, since the focus (F) and the centre of curvature (2F) are both imaginary points "inside" the mirror, which cannot be reached. The passenger-side mirror on a car is typically a convex mirror. In some countries, these are labeled with the safety warning "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear", to warn the driver of the convex mirror's distorting effects on distance perception.

Wolf/Tula brand ammo. worth grabbing some while you still can?

July 22, 2014

What, Cripples Need Love, Too.

For the most part, I'm not a tequila person, so if I had to choose between Olmeca and Jack Daniels, that's an easy one; Jack and Coke, please. But if forced to choose between two tequilas, such as Tres Generations or Don Julio, I dunno which I'd pick. But I do know that after all that fucking tequila, I'd wind up in the running for the dumbest face tattoo.

Dubai is the most populous city and emirate in the United Arab Emirates (UAE), and the second largest emirate by territorial size after the capital, Abu Dhabi. Today, Dubai has emerged as a cosmopolitan metropolis that has grown steadily to become a global city and a business and cultural hub of the Middle East and the Persian Gulf region. It is also a major transport hub for passengers and cargo. Although Dubai's economy was historically built on the oil industry, the emirate's Western-style model of business drives its economy with the main revenues now coming from tourism, aviation, real estate, and financial services. Dubai has recently attracted world attention through many innovative large construction projects and sports events. The city has become symbolic for its skyscrapers and high-rise buildings, in particular the world's tallest building, the Burj Khalifa. In addition, Dubai is home to other ambitious development projects including man-made islands, hotels, and some of the largest shopping malls in the region and the world.

According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, "86" is a slang term that is used in the American popular culture as a transitive verb to mean throw out or get rid of, particularly in the food service industry as a term to describe an item no longer available on the menu, or to refuse service to a customer. Today, the term "86", and especially its past tense, "86ed" is widely used in American culture and beyond. The most widely accepted theory of the term's origin states it derives from a code supposedly used in some restaurants in the 1930s, wherein 86 was a shortform among restaurant workers for 'We're all out of it.' Snippets of said code were published in newsman Walter Winchell's column in 1933, where it was presented as part of a "glossary of soda-fountain lingo."

I don't always post photos of staircases, but when I do, they're quite mesmerizing.

Per the link; There is dirt pushed outward. A sink hole drags everything down right? All I have to say is, “Alien vs Predator”. Remember when the Predators shot the laser down to bore a hole in to the ice to get to the temple of alien doom???? Just saying. -Ryan

Needs more spel chek for the bumper sticker... Picture taken on I - 94 near Chelsea, Michigan. Jon

Here's a compelling argument why Pinhead's latest Executive Order is most likely going to be permanent. Meanwhile, there are still some AK's and AK variants still available if you're willing to mail order.

Febreze is a brand of household odor eliminator manufactured by Procter & Gamble, sold in North America, Brazil, Europe, Asia, Australia and New Zealand. The active ingredient in Febreze is hydroxypropyl beta-cyclodextrin. Procter & Gamble claims that these molecules bind hydrocarbons within the doughnut shape, retaining malodorous molecules, which reduces their release into the air and thus the perception of their scent. The product initially sold poorly until P&G realised that people had become accustomed to the smells in their own homes, then switched to linking it to pleasant smells and cleaning habits to produce the successful product.

The Boeing 787-9 Dreamliner is a slightly bigger version of the 787-8, but still flies just the same and is capable of "combat" takeoffs. In this video from the Farnborough Airshow, watch for the DReamliner's very steep 40 degree takeoff, 60 degree banked turn and unbelievable short landing.

Lucia Rijker is the female Mike Tyson. She is the the world famous, undisputed, unconquered queen of Kickboxing. A scientific test proved that she can punch with 910 pounds of force at the speed of 36 feet per second!

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