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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
November 24, 2014

I Had Lots Of Balls Friday Night, Trust Me.

The Boss Lady is a huge fan of the Hunger Games saga, so of course I was obligated to see Hunger Games Mockingjay part I this weekend. It was, well, meh. The first hour of the movie was a complete snoozefest, leaving my mind to wander out of boredom and look at everything in the fucking theater except the screen. I spent the majority of the two hours thinking one of two things to myself. Either, "Boy, I saw that coming a mile away," or, "I saw yer boobs." Personally I think the series ran its course with one movie and the first sequel looked forced. With that in mind, Philip Seymour Hoffman was his usual awesome self, and I predict his absense will make Part II suck even more. Woody Harrelson was painfully underutilized. Natalie Dormer's acting was cardboard thin and looked like she was readig her lines from a hobo's cardboard sign. Although at least now I know why she shaved half her head. Julianne Moore seemed to be phoning it in as well, and I suspect she was blackmailed into taking the role. All in all, 4 out of 10. it wasn't I-WANT-MY-MONEY-BACK bad, but if you want to see it my advice is wait for it to hit Netflix.

The Smith & Wesson Model 19 is a revolver produced by Smith & Wesson on its K-frame platform, chambered for .357 Magnum. Retired Assistant Chief Patrol Inspector of the U.S. Border Patrol, famous gunfighter, and noted firearms and shooting skills writer Bill Jordan consulted with Smith & Wesson on the design and characteristics of the Model 19. The Model 19 was produced 1957 to November 1999, and featured blued carbon steel with wood or rubber combat grips, an adjustable rear sight, semi-target hammer, serrated combat-type trigger. The S&W model 66 was the same K-frame, only offered in stainless steel with a smooth target-type trigger, and was produced from 1970 until 2005.

If a handgun isn't your thing, or those of you still looking to get your hands on an AK, here's a Yugoslavian made Zastava M70 N-PAP AK-47 for $449 -- which comes with twelve 10-round magazines. Useful in some states, but for those of us not living in the Occupied Territories, you'll want to get your hands on some nice 30 rounders instead: Tapco mags are the most inexpensive but if you're willing to shell out a couple extra dollars per magazine, steel is never a bad choice.

Okay Marines, I recognize the National Defense Medal, but what are the other three?

Ernie. Those three gals are in front of Espit Chupito, Carre Aribau 77 Barcelona Spain. Jambo

The best part is if you back up a little bit in Street View, the grafitti on the adjascent security gate is still there. For this next challenge, I was going to ask you what happened with this re-election campaign, but after doing a double take on this one, I've decided to go in a different direction. So tell me, what issue of Maxim Magazine is that poster?

Sometimes translating stuff is a very tough job. Especially if you're Asian and you have never had anything to do with any indo-European language. So then if you're gonna have a street sign that you have to translate for tourists to understand as well, you might not want to use your trusty Google translate, or the results will be very similar with what you can see here.

November 22, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

jimmy kimmel's celebrities read mean tweets #8

newtown shooter: parental denial, breakdowns, missed opportunities

in honor of ferguson, missouri: 42 powerful photos that show human compassion in the face of violence

here are 27 relatively simple things that will make your home extremely awesome. 28 if you invite me over for beer.

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - twelve - THIRTEEN

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November 21, 2014

Let's bring Em Home Has Completed 38 Airline Tickets So Far.


You know, with everyone having their own mobile phones, it's a wonder phone booths even exist anymore.

When a girl you've just had sex with reveals she was born with both a cock and a box, but says she, "did not lie to him per se," you'd probably be in rehab, too.

Tracking down Benny's market is easy, it's located in Torrance, California. Almost too easy. So stepping things up a notch, what bar did these three girls just come out of? I Googled the telephone number on the security placards, which led me to Expansiva Seguridad, and popping that page into Google Translate gives me you get Mataro (Barcelona) in the Contact section, and given Mataro'sclose proximity to Barcelona, my hunch is the bar is somewhere in downtown Barcelona. Especially since on the door there's a sign written in three languages (catering to tourists) which reads, "Please respect the rest of the neighbors. Thank you."

Dear Sir Ernie, Like you, I'm enjoying all the massive snowfall from Florida. Anyway, I think that background movie isn't a movie, it looks to me like Eric Bischoff from the WCW doing some corny royalty wrestling bit. Just my 2 cents. Your loyal minion, Matt

Looking to feed your hungry AK, or preparing for the riots that should kick off on a few hours? You can pick up some 700 rounds of Romanian 7.62x39 123GR FMJ in sealed spam can for $139 until the end of November, or until their supply runs out.

Given the canouflage pants and knockoff Crocs, my first thought was a Walmart shoppper, but I don't think this is an American made car. Any idea what kind of car she's vacuuming out?

November 20, 2014

Oh, Like You Don't Miss The 80's Too.

If you were as throuroughly entertained by Guardians of the Galaxy as I was, you'll be delighted to know -- that today and today only -- you can get the entire soundtrack for free on Google Play. This will of course allow you to challenge your own friends to a Starlord worthy dance off of your own, and if you're lucky, your own Rocket sidekick. I am also excited at the prospect of a Howard the Duck movie, and while I still think Lea Thompson looks terrific for her age, we have to be brutally honest with ourselves and accept she's not going to look the same as she used to.

Tuborg is a Danish brewing company founded in 1873 by Carl Frederik Tietgen, which initially produced pale lager for the Danish market. It merged with United Breweries in 1894, which then entered into a profit-sharing agreement with Carlsberg in 1903. In 1970, United Breweries was acquired by Carlsberg. Today, it makes lager for global export, as well as a variety of continental styles for both domestic and foreign markets. Part of the brand's success in Russia has come from its strong links to music in Eastern Europe and by being one of the first beers in the market to launch the innovative ring pull cap.

Here is anything and everything you could hope to know about ALL THE BLACK FRIDAY DEALS THIS YEAR.

Binion's has been making Las Vegas history since 1951 when Texas gambler, Benny Binion, bought the property at 128 Fremont Street. Benny was passionate about giving players excitement, good odds and friendly service, or as he would say - Good Food. Good Whiskey. Good Gamble. Though downtown Las Vegas has evolved since the days of Benny Binion, Benny's enthusiasm still remains at the historic casino and has been picked up by the current owner, TLC Casino Enterprises, that purchased the property in March 2008. Binion's Cafe is a downtown classic and an instant favorite by everyone who has tried one. Every single Binions Hangover Burger is made daily at Binion's Butcher Shop, never frozen and prepared to order.

Here is the location of that bus stop, its on the 2600 Blk of Wilshire Blvd, in Santa Monica Ca. Rick

Ernie, The bus stop location is here, the tan building in the background is 2530 Wilshire Blvd. The chicks name is Veronica Weston, and you can see more of her here. By the way, LOVED what you did for November 10. Semper Fi, Tim

This is a bus stop near the intersection of Wilshire Blvd. and 26th Street in Santa Monica, CA. The odd shaped sign in the background is for Ursula's Costumes. Fun fact, behind Ursula's Costumes, in the same building, there used to be a "massage parlor". The entrance was in the back parking lot. There was a long time tradition of going to The Shack (next door to Ursula's) for drinks and to watch sports, and then to quietly slip out the back, go to the "massage parlor" to relieve some tension, and be back in time to watch the last quarter. The Shack saw many a business deal cemented in just that manner over the years. The Shack and Ursula's are still there. The parlor, sadly, is gone. The victim of one of the many do gooders in Santa Monica and the changing nature of doing business in America. Ahhhh, the good old days. Nick S.

And while there are still no takers on identifying this movie in the background, here's a softball: translate this wall hanging.

I am very happy to be post this awesome (NSFW!) gallery of the beautiful Kristen Pyles courtesy of Playboy Plus. Kristen has a lovely face along with a stunning, all-natural figure that's just perfect. She looks amazing in (and out!) of everything, and here they have her in some sexy lingerie outfits. She's also done some glamour work as Hailee Rain as well.

The Qiang is the Chinese term for spear. Due to its relative ease of manufacture, the spear in many variations was ubiquitous on the pre-modern Chinese battlefield. Common features of the Chinese spear are the leaf shaped blade and red horse-hair tassel lashed just below. The tassel shows elite troop status. It also serves a tactical purpose. When the spear is moving quickly, the addition of the tassel aids in blurring the vision of the opponent so that it is more difficult for them to grab the shaft of spear behind the head or tip. The tassel also served another purpose, to stop the flow of blood from the blade getting to the wooden shaft; the blood would make it slippery, or sticky when dried. Many Chinese martial arts feature spear training in their curriculum. The conditioning provided by spear technique is seen as invaluable and in many styles it is the first weapons training introduced to students.

WHAT KIND OF A DUMBASS ARE YOU: online quizzes are data goldmines for marketers

November 19, 2014

The Best Part About Early Winter Storms, Is Watching Them On Television.

Lake-effect snow is produced during cooler atmospheric conditions when cold winds move across long expanses of warmer lake water, providing energy and picking up water vapor, which freezes and is deposited on the leeward shores. The effect is enhanced when the moving air mass is uplifted by the orographic influence of higher elevations on the downwind shores. This uplifting can produce narrow but very intense bands of precipitation, which deposit at a rate of many inches of snow each hour, often resulting in copious snowfall totals. And having grown up in Rochester, right on the southern border of Lake Ontario and kissing cousin to Buffalo, I don't miss this shit at all.

Am I the only one who didn't know that today, November 19th, was National Buy Ammo Day? No seriously, I'm not fucking kidding. The website explains, "There are an estimated 75 MILLION gun owners in the United States of America. If each gun owner or Second Amendment supporter buys 100 rounds of ammunition, that's 7.5 BILLION rounds in the hands of law-abiding citizens!" So fuck man, do your part and shit, because you're not always going to have gummy bears available top make bullets with.

Trying to identify television shows in the background is always a good challenge. For example, here are some Barry White lyrics "Girl, I don't know, I don't know why" superimposed over Dean Winchester from Supernatural, so I can tell you she's watching Season 2 Episode 15, Tall Tales. Great show, by the way, here's their season 9 gag reel, too. Now more to the point, can any of you tell me what animated (?) movie is on television here?

Hey Ern, Hope I am not too late with this one... The photo you posted of the blonde flashing her tits is at Casa Bahia Restarant Bar at the Zihuatanejo Yacht Club in Zihuatanejo, Mexico. I believe that is where Andy escaped to in The Shawshank Redemtion. I amost gave you the Casa Bahia Hotel in Nicaragua but after finding this YouTube video, I saw the name over the door. The video starts at the exactly where she showed us her goodies and then pans over the door. Johnny

The police are a part of the working class who gets a surprising amount of hate since they're actually community servants. Mostly because those who are more visible, just like in any domain of this world, are the negative ones. But maybe it's better to look on the bright side, so here are some pictures that show that cops are human beings, just like us.

The Big Mac is a hamburger sold by McDonald's, an international fast food restaurant chain. It was introduced in the metropolitan area of Pittsburgh in 1967, nationwide in 1968, and has become one of the company's signature products. In 2012, McDonald's admitted that the special sauce ingredients were "not really a secret" because the recipe had been available online for years. It consists of store-bought mayonnaise, sweet pickle relish and yellow mustard whisked together with vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder and paprika.

Hi Ernie, the location is U Rokytky, in Prague, Czech Republic, You think they are going to the Kokytky but I think they are headed to the ZIPO bar. Rick

Additionally, I shall require someone to find me exactly where this bus stop is located.

When the time came for filmmaker Luke Aker to sell his beloved 1996 Nissan Maxima, he couldn't let it go without a proper goodbye, so he created this hilarious ad. Once Nissan saw his brilliant video, they knew we had to do their part to help Luke's land-yacht live on! So they bought it and, based on fan suggestions, restored it to its former glory. Who better to help Nissan reveal the refreshed 1996 Maxima than its previous owner? Presenting Aker's fully restored Maxima GLE Sport Sedan. You're welcome.


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