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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
August 27, 2016

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

adam driver -- aka kylo ren from star wars -- gives terrific speech on his journey from marine to actor

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - twelve - thirteen


August 26, 2016

You Are Now About To Witness The Strength Of Street Knowledge.

Paul Eisler was an Austrian inventor born in Vienna. He graduated in engineering from Vienna University of Technology in 1930. Being Jewish, antisemitic German-Nationalist organizations prevented him from getting an engineering job in Vienna, so he obtained employment with the English recording technology firm. Living in a Hampstead boarding house, without work or a work permit, he began to fabricate a radio and invented the printed circuit board while trying to sell some of his ideas. After the war ended, the United States opened access to his printed circuit innovation and since 1948, it has been used in all airborne instrument electronics. Eisler invented many other practical applications of heating technology, such as the pizza warmer and rear window defroster, but was not so successful in their commercialization.

AIDS Walk is a walkathon fundraiser that raises money to combat the AIDS epidemic. The funds raised from AIDS Walks usually benefit a local AIDS service organization (such as Gay Men's Health Crisis, Whitman-Walker Clinic or the AIDS Project Los Angeles), which provide services and advocacy for local community residents who are infected with HIV. They are also often credited for being effective tools of public outreach, community empowerment, and education for the issues surrounding AIDS. These annual fundraising walkathons are held in New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Milwaukee.

When they are not in the octagon performing their very important MMA duties—holding up round cards for fans who can't count to five but love ogling chicks in bikinis—you can usually find UFC octagon girls walking red carpets. Or making public appearances at corporate events. Or doing photoshoots for the likes of Maxim. It's that last activity we're interested in today. Brittney Palmer and Arianny Celeste, the most famous octagon girls in the world, recently teamed up for a lingerie photoshoot

American anthropologist C. Loring Brace has brought forth a theory that the human overbite of Europeans is only about 250 years old, and this shift was the result of the widespread adoption of the table knife and fork. Before the use of cutlery, Europeans would often clamp their teeth on a piece of meat and then cut off a piece with a knife. When Europeans started using forks and knives, the cutting was done on the plate and the overbite became much more common. Brace also researched the Chinese, who had adopted chopsticks 900 years earlier and found the instances of overbites increased about the same time the new eating method was introduced.

Crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube, From the gang called Niggas With Attitudes
When I'm called off, I got a sawed off, Squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off
You too, boy, if ya fuck with me, The police are gonna hafta come and get me
Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out, For the punk motherfuckers that's showin out
Niggaz start to mumble, they wanna rumble, Mix em and cook em in a pot like gumbo
Goin off on a motherfucker like that, With a gat that's pointed at yo ass
So give it up smooth, Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move
Here's a murder rap to keep yo dancin, With a crime record like Charles Manson
AK-47 is the tool, Don't make me act the motherfuckin fool
Me you can go toe to toe, no maybe, I'm knockin niggaz out tha box, daily
Yo weekly, monthly and yearly, Until them dumb motherfuckers see clearly
That I'm down with the capital C-P-T, Boy you can't fuck with me
So when I'm in your neighborhood, you better duck, Cause Ice Cube is crazy as fuck
As I leave, believe I'm stompin, But when I come back, boy, I'm comin Straight Outta Compton

If you're looking for a way to change or update the overall style and design of your bathroom or put the finishing touches on a complete makeover, towel rings can do both. Towel rings are as much about function as they are about style. They allow towels to dry quickly and easily while offering a way to keep your bathroom neat and organized. Finding the best towel rings for your bathroom space can be a lot less of a challenge when you know exactly what you're getting into and exactly what you need to look for from these bathroom accessories. Various styles are available, so consider space constraints as well as personal preferences when choosing a style for your bath.

It's a little bit counter-intuitive for a movie studio to do a “surprise remake,” since the whole point of remakes is to capitalize on a familiar name and/or piece of intellectual property in promoting the film, resulting in big profit margins and minimal fan backlash. But it does kind of make sense for a remake of The Blair Witch Project to take an unorthodox path to release, which is the case with the film simply titled Blair Witch.

Kappa is an Italian sportswear brand founded in 1967 in Turin, Italy, and now spans the globe, and multiple sport disciplines. Kappa is a global sponsor of important football, rugby, basketball, volleyball, F1, rally, ski, sailing, golf, fencing and martial arts teams, as well as of many sports federations. Their signature logo bears the standard of performance for rigorous athletic performance, and unique style that commemorates the individuality of those that wears it. They imprint their logo on every product they manufacture to reflect this unity in a style as unique as this passion.


August 25, 2016

Supercomputers Be Damned, Predicting The Path of A Hurricane is Apparently NOT An Exact Science.

Giuseppe Visenzi established GIVI only 35 years ago. In the 1960's, as a talented rider, he distinguished himself in a series of motorcycle races crowned by the winning of the 350cc World Championship in 1969. After leaving the racing world, his passion for motorcycles, joined with his determination, led to his commitment to and realization of establishing the motorcycle accessories company GIVI, a company which in a very short time has become one of the most significant and competitive producers of motorcycle accessories both nationally and worldwide. The GIVI Monokey series is considered to be the premier range offers the versatility and functionality that enables this series of cases to be used either as a top trunk or saddlebag. The Monokey series with its heavy duty construction and elegant styling offers a wide variety of solutions to meet most styles of modern motorcycles and riding conditions.

Winter swimming is the activity of swimming during the winter season, typically in outdoor locations or in unheated pools or lidos. In colder countries it may be synonymous with ice swimming, when the water is frozen over. This requires either breaking the ice or entering where a spring prevents the formation of ice. It may also be simulated by a pool of water at 0 °C, the temperature at which water freezes. In Finland, Northern Russia, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Estonia, Lithuania and Latvia the ice swimming tradition has been connected with the sauna tradition. Unlike dousing, it is not seen as an ascetic or religious ritual, but a way to cool off rapidly after staying in a sauna and as a stress relief. Ice swimming on its own is especially popular in Estonia and Finland.

Old and busted: Make Love Not War. The new hotness: Cocks not Glocks.

You might be headed to America's Tire Co located on Balboa Blvd in Northridge, CA, although they have several other locations. Jefferson

Looks like you're headed to America's Tire Co. at 10235 Balboa Blvd. Northridge, CA. Rick

The AR-15 modern day sporting rifle is a modular beast. Though more than 200 companies sell specific configurations, many shooters prefer to put their own rifle together from a variety of modular components. But the important thing to remember is the lower receiver is a registered part. When you buy an AR-15, the piece that makes it a firearm is the lower, which will have a serial number that is recorded on the 4473 that you fill out with your local FFL. Even though we aren't supposed to have a national gun registry, many are hesitant about telling Uncle Sam that they own a scary black rifle. The DIY lower is a way around this. Any hunk of aluminum, steel, or even polymer could be built into a lower -- I've mentioned 80% lower kits for AR-15 style rifles before -- if you had the technical know-how and the right tools. And if you do this yourself, without ANYONE'S assistance and without the intent of selling it, you are not required to tell anyone, fill out any forms, or register anything. That's the real appeal; make yourself an AR, and do it yourself, and no paperwork. Here's something I learned today. They make 80% lower kits for Glock handguns, too.

If you're in the mood for cold drinks, sandwiches, and ice cream then today is your lucky day. Presuming you can figure out where you're going.

Too easy brofessor. If you can manage look to the left for just one second, you'd notice that that's a truck from Ausgrid, an electric company in Australia.

The pickup truck belongs to Ausgrid, a state owned electricity infrastructure company, which owns, maintains and operates the electrical distribution networks to 1.6 million customers in Sydney, Central Coast, Hunter Region and Newcastle areas of New South Wales. Cheers Randy

Old and busted: Usain Bolt partying with A Brazilian hooker after his ninth gold medal win. The new hotness: Usain Bolt partying with lots of Brazilian hookers after his ninth gold medal win.

Ratlines are lengths of thin line tied between the shrouds of a sailing ship to form a ladder. Found on all square rigged ships, whose crews must go aloft to stow the square sails, they also appear on larger fore-and-aft rigged vessels to aid in repairs aloft or conduct a lookout from above. Rope ratlines are probably the oldest method of getting aloft, but they are also one of the best. They are inexpensive, easy to make, and secure to use.

And so far, no takers on finding these Woman's Day 432 Magical Somethings.


August 24, 2016

While The Cat's Away, The Mice Will Sit On The Couch With Their Foot Elevated Above Their Heart.

So The Boss Lady left this morning on a three and half day trek up north to attend her grandmother's funeral. I, unable to get around very well let alone fly, am obviously staying home to man the fort solo during her absence. Normally such unexpected independence would be a cause for great joy. Such is not the case this time. Yesterday marked the ninth week since my accident, and as of this morning I have officially showered without assistance for the first time in as many weeks. Not a cause for celebration you might say? I can assure you it is extremely humbling when something so simple as washing yourself without having to depend upon someone else to get you in and out of the shower, seems like an accomplishment worthy of the tallest participation trophy. And so these next few days would normally be filled with copious amounts of wine, women, and song, they shall instead be filled with marathons of Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. Yes, yes, live vicariously through me, indeed.

I realize this is kind of a long shot, but does anyone recognize what company this pickup truck belongs to?

Why are dogs man's best friend? Because Lindsey Vonn's dogs ate the ass out of her workout pants, that's why. Let's see your fucking cat do that.

The poblano is a mild chili pepper originating in the state of Puebla, Mexico. Stuffed fresh and roasted it is popular in chile rellenos poblanos. While poblanos tend to have a mild flavor, occasionally and unpredictably they can have significant heat. After being roasted and peeled (which improves the texture by removing the waxy skin), poblano peppers are preserved by either canning or freezing. Storing them in airtight containers keeps them for several months. When dried, the poblano becomes a broad, flat, heart-shaped pod; from this form, it is often ground into a powder used as flavoring in various dishes. Different peppers from the same plant have been reported to vary substantially in heat intensity. The ripened red poblano is significantly hotter and more flavorful than the less ripe, green poblano.

Right now Brownells has a special going on -- but I dunno how long it's good for.

And when The Boss Lady gets back, we're doing a little remodeling around the house and I was wondering if you would be able to show me what costs $29.88? if you can do that, can you show me what costs $114?


August 23, 2016

"I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone." Lord Byron.

Hydraulic fracturing is a well-stimulation technique in which rock is fractured by a pressurized liquid. The process involves the high-pressure injection of fracking fluid -- primarily water, containing sand or other proppants suspended with the aid of thickening agents -- into a wellbore to create cracks in the deep-rock formations through which natural gas, petroleum, and brine will flow more freely. When the hydraulic pressure is removed from the well, small grains of hydraulic fracturing proppants (either sand or aluminium oxide) hold the fractures open. Increases in seismic activity following hydraulic fracturing along dormant or previously unknown faults are sometimes caused by the deep-injection disposal of hydraulic fracturing flowback. For these reasons, hydraulic fracturing is under international scrutiny, restricted in some countries, and banned altogether in others.

Whether you use your bike to commute, run errands or take longer trips, you'll need a way to carry essentials, from a small repair kit to full-on camping gear. A daypack or messenger bag is good for shorter trips, but some of your best gear-carrying options are racks, baskets and bags that fit on your bike. Most frame bags attach to the top tube of your bike and are sized to keep food, phones, tools and other essentials within easy reach. Larger frame bags for bikepacking and touring can hold hydration reservoirs. As some roads are quite rough, it also makes sense to distribute your load evenly on both sides of your bike, to maintain stability when turning.

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions—on a sesame seed bun. The Big Mac's anthem, made famous by its signature '70s jingle, is firmly engrained in the collective consciousness of meat-eating America. But these days the traditional hamburger as we've known it has been co-opted by an unusual assortment of add-ons. Are our beloved burgers forever evolving beyond the classics toward an endless stack of superlatives? Old and busted: Avocado Burger Buns from FoodDeco. The new hotness: Pokémon Cheeseburgers from Sydney's Down-N-Out.

So I might have to buy a new set of tires for The Boss Lady's A6 and according to the sign in the window, this place will not be undersold. So if I'm looking for the best deal, where am I headed to?

Hey Ernie; The girl is walking down Jefferson Street in San Francisco. You can see the entrance to Joe's Crab Shack and the Fisherman's Wharf Parking sign on the street view. The store she is in front of has changed since the photo was taken, but I'd be willing to bet your left nut that is where she is. And like I said last week - get better already! Ron

She's in San Fran, outside Joe's Crab Shack and close to the USS Pampanito, It's on my list of places to visit, dont know when tho as I dont really like California, but I will be seeing the USS Iowa in LA, a little side excursion on my way to Desert Trip in October. Keep em coming, Nick

Hey Ernie- The dumpy woman hiding her face is outside the Exclusiva Sex Shop at Av. Heitor Penteado 1511 in San Paulo, Brazil. They've recently added their website to their sign out front. Here is the shop with a city bus in front of it. Later, Brian

Hey Ern, The Exclusiva Sex Shop is at 1511 Sumarezinho, in Sao Paulo. Looks like a nice well lit place. Big D

Willis Carrier is credited with inventing modern air conditioning in 1902. In 1915 Carrier, along with six other engineers, pooled together $32,600 to form the Carrier Engineering Corporation. In 1920 they purchased their first plant in Newark, New Jersey. The corporation bearing his name succeeded in marketing its air conditioner to the residential market in the 1950s, which led to formerly sparsely populated areas such as the American Southwest becoming home to sprawling suburbs. As of 2012, Carrier was a $12.5 billion company with over 43,000 employees serving customers in 170 countries on six continents.

Ravishing supermodel, Padma Lakshmi, is best known today as the no-nonsense host of Bravo's hit TV show, “Top Chef,” where her culinary expertise and opinions can make or break the aspirations of competing young chefs. And, though she has sampled the most sophisticated and exotic cuisines from around the globe, Padma's palate still craves a beloved burger from her youth that helped solidify her transition from a vegetarian to a full-blown carnivore. That burger is the iconic Western Bacon Cheeseburger from Carl's Jr. and now available at Hardee's.


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Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

You Are Now About To Witness The Strength Of ...

Supercomputers Be Damned, Predicting The Path...

While The Cat's Away, The Mice Will Sit On Th...

I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for ...

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