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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 28, 2016
November 28, 2016

So Has Everyone Gained An Extra 10 Pounds Yet?

We've all seen Caddyshack and this memorable boating scene, right? Okay, here's a genuine fucking photo challenge that I can't get to the bottom of. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ACTOR'S NAME? Seriously, I've spend the better part of three hours this fucking weekend trying to track it down, and no ducking dice. Can I find Rodney's yacht? Sure, no problem. But the name of the bug eyed fisherman? No fucking way. So seriously, keep me from the fucking looney bin and tell me that fucking guy's name.

The Toronto Pop Festival was held on June 21st and 22nd in 1969 at the Varsity Stadium, just a few months before the Woodstock festival. Over the weekend Bands such as Blood Sweat and Tears, Sly and The Family Stone, Dr John, Rotary Connection, Steppenwolf and The Velvet Underground took to the stage. Reviews of the festival were positive, with much praise for how smoothly the event ran. Incidents like a burned-out amp during the Band's performance, a brief rain shower Sunday evening, and isolated bad trips were treated as minor mishaps. Unlike recent American festivals, violence didn't flare up between the 60,000 ticket holders and police; the cops, some of whom were grooving in rhythm with the rest of the crowd, admitted that enforcing pot laws would have stirred trouble and let the audience enjoy the grass that wasn't part of the field. One of the few dissenting notes came from City Hall when Mayor William Dennison reportedly refused to provide an official greeting from the City to the festival, due to his distrust of “hippies.”

There is no excuse for mourning the death of Fidel Castro. Castro, in his infinite wisdom, conducted over 3500 political executions via firing squad. A tugboat named "13 de Marzo," while carrying 72 Cuban refugees to the USA, was attacked by one of Castro's boats and sank into the Atlantic. Reluctant revolutionaries, homosexuals, Jehovah's Witnesses, and other groups were rounded up and sent to "UMAPs," Cuban renditions of Soviet Gulags. Cuba lived in terror for decades. The world gained value when Castro died. Cuba is one in a long list of examples of communism leading to widespread poverty and death.

Evidently this silver fire hydrant wasn't as impossible as I thought it was, so instead of doing first-come-first-post like I usually do, here are the handful of BAMF's who were able to find it.

Hey big Ern, always had a love / hate relationship with the word "impossible". Old Absinthe House, corner of Bourbon and Bienville, Neaaawwwlins.. Happy Turkey Day brother!! John

Ernie, Looks like our topless lassie is in front of the Old Absinthe House here in good ole New Orleans. See attached pic. Thanks for the good stuff... keep up the good work. Cheers... Jett

Hey Ernie, Oh ye of little faith. Enough clues there to find the "Impossible" fire hydrant. 1st: Where do ladies older than 19 routinely flash their tits? Two places; Key West and Mardi Gras. 2nd: That's an unusual hydrant, never seen one before. 3rd. Everyone has a wristband, so we're celebrating something. 4th: A brick sidewalk with granite curb stones. I first checked out Key West, because there were no beads around her neck. Nope, different hydrants. Lets look at Bourbon Street. Bingo, Matching hydrants. The gutters in the pic seem to be large blocks and Bourbon street gutters look like brick. So now it was down to a grid search through the French Quarter until I found a brick side walk with granite curb stones and a smooth gutter. The lovely MILF with the nice rack is in front of the hydrant at 240 Bourbon Street. Keep 'em coming, Tim

Ernie, just because you say something is impossible, doesn't make it so. That fire hydrant is located at Bienville and Bourbon Street in New Orleans, right outside of Jean Lafitte's Old Absinthe House. It's hard to get a good street view because of the airport shuttle van, but there are some additional views without the truck in the way. The giveaway is the yellow clasps on the doors, the port in the street, the drainage to the right, the white panel on the wall, the cut in the street, and finally, the heart-shaped handles on the dark doors. Mark

Hi Ernie! So the hydrant wasn't all that difficult to find … The sideewalks reminded me of the french quarter of New Orleans and the woman flashing reminded me of Bourbon St., so I decided to start my search from there … It didn't take me more than a minute before I stumbleed onto The Old Absinthe House, located at 240 Bourbon St, New Orleans, LA 70112. You can clearly make out the hydrant, the yellow door hooks and the uniquely shaped door pull in both your pic and mine … Thanks for making it an interesting one! Here's the link. Scott

Every year the Colts do a Thanksgiving halftime show of Peewee Football players vs the Colt's Mascot and a bunch of his other mascot buddies. This is one of the more brutally hilarious things you will ever see, considering it's a bunch of grown men in character costumes absolutely destroying children in a game of football. You won't see anything else like this ever.

Though Maserati brand history started long before the foundation of the company, it was officially licensed and registered in 1914 in Bologna by Alfieri Maserati. It wasn't until 1926 that the Maseratis started building their own cars, and with the debut of the Tipo 26 model, the company needed an official logo. Brother Mario, who had not wanted to join the automotive industry, lent his artistic talents to create the perfect emblem for the brand. His inspiration was the trident held by Neptune in the Fontana de Nettuno statue in Bologna's Piazza Maggiore. This city served as the hometown of the Maserati family and location of the company's first plant before headquarters were moved to Modena. The image–what it calls the “saetta” logo–represents Neptune's command over the seven seas and Maserati's command over the space between them.

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