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Ernie's House of Whoopass! May 29, 2015
May 29, 2015

Young Man, There's No Need To Feel Down.

Deer Park Spring Water Company, established in 1873, is a company that bottles natural spring water. Following the Civil War, the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad (B&O) created a vacation resort high in the Appalachian Mountains of western Maryland. While the Deer Park Hotel and its spa were built to attract passengers to ride the railroad to this vacation spot, the spring water near the site also became a major attraction. Among the many tourists who made the journey to enjoy the benefits of the spring water were four American Presidents, from James Garfield to William Taft. The B&O Railroad quickly recognized the value of the spring and began bottling the water in 1873. In 1966 the Boiling Spring Holding Corporation purchased the spring and its surrounding woodlands from the B&O Railroad and incorporated as Deer Park Spring Water, named for the nearby town of Deer Park, Maryland.

Wow, if you want to see something collectble, take a gander at this. Do you see what I see? Yeah, exactly! A pint glass from the Mets' last season at Shea Stadium, which was demolished in 2009 to furnish additional parking for the adjacent Citi Field. I'd sure like to get my hands on one of those. Not a shot glass, mind you, but a pint glass.

Earlier this week, a friend from many moons ago posted this video on Facebook. It's a Glock 18 chewing through 100 rounds of ammo in about five and a half seconds. Here it is in slo-mo if that's your thing. According to Glock's Wikipedia page, the Glock 18 is capable of firing at a rate of 1,100-1,200 rounds per minute; for the sake of arguement let's assume this one is middle of the road at 1,150 rounds per minute, which equates to 69,000 rounds per hour. The least expensive brass cased non-reloaded 9mm ammo I can find is $199.99 per 1,000 round case. Meaning the Glock 18 can cost upwards of $13,800 per hour (69 x $199.99) to operate. This is why I've never got my panties ina bunch about not being able to readily buy a selective fire rifle. I couldn't afford to feed the fucking thing.

Meanwhile, in Baltimore. Added bonus: at the 2:14 mark of that 1980 Tori Amos song, HEY LET'S TAKE THE BABY RIOTING!

Hey Ernie, Don't know if anyone has cracked this, but the chick is in St Petersburg, Russia. She was at the bottom of ramp to the right. Oh, and more of her here. Keep 'em coming. Tim

Hi Ernie, the drone crashed in the water before it could film boobies :-) Carrie

With no distinguishing markers, it would be impossible to identify where this photo was taken. But given the unique curb markers and the heavily reinforced stop sign (against hurricanes?) I'm hoping someone can at least narrow it down to a specific country. HINT: this sign does not seem conform to US DOT codes for stop signs.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is an American comedy web series that features Jerry Seinfeld introducing a vintage car selected for a guest comedian, followed by a drive to a pre-selected cafe or restaurant for coffee.As of January 2015, the series had surpassed 25 million streams. The upcoming sixth season of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee will feature Jerry Seinfeld reuniting with Seinfeld buddy Julia Louis-Dreyfus, as well as appearances from Stephen Colbert, Jim Carrey, Bill Maher, Steve Harvey, and new The Daily Show host Trevor Noah.

Meanwhile, in Baltimore. Added bonus: "when officers pull up, they have 30 to 50 people surrounding them at any time."

Hi Ernie. This time its in Wienna in front of the Volksteater. Bellariastrasse 12. Just look at this picture. Jan

Ehile Eric R is absolutely correct that that is the Fallsview Casino Resort in the picture, that is NOT where she is staying. In that picture, you will see a dome structure in a circular opening. For it to be in the picture, she would have to be in the Hilton Hotel and Suites just southwest of the Casino. Louis, Houston, TX

Serbian tennis star and former World No. 1 in 2008 Jelena Jankovic had some difficulties on the court with her panties. Why she didn't just go to the change room and why she switched from black to white panties nobody will ever know. Either way, Jelena Jankovic will go down in history as only player to change her panties courtside.

Arguably the most important part of any presentation is the beginning because it sets the foundation for the rest of your work. If you come across as a strong, entertaining writer at the beginning of your presentation, people will be forgiving if your material gets a little more routine as the talk progresses. The best way to hook your audience is to use a quote, anecdote, or rhetorical question that segues nicely into your material. A good example of this comes from the 2006 movie The Pursuit of Happyness where in the initial interview scene, the main character is asked, "What would you say if man walked in here with no shirt, and I hired him? What would you say?" That rhetorical hook comes back in one of the closing scenes where Christ gets hired and opens the conversation by noting, "I thought I'd wear a short today."

Meanwhile, in Baltimore. Added bonus: "while seeking reimbursement for up to 75 percent from Federal Emergency Management Agency."


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