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"I am Jehovah thy God, Open thy Mouth Wide, and I Will Fill It." Psalm 81:10.

Yesterday I took the TT in for an oil change and as I was pulling into the dealer, I pulled up behind this sweet ass 550hp jaguar F-TYPE R. Later when I got home, I did some Googling about Jaguars and such, and stumbled across some new technology they have coming down the pipe. It's almost an exact copy of the features of an old Playstation game, Gran Turismo 3, were you had to "qualify for a license." To help you do so, the game automatically highlights the optimal path through the turns; following the highlighted route yields the best track times. Imagine if that kind of technology could be incorporated into a real life winsehield, right? Well wonder no fucking further, becauyse Juguar is all over that shit. Complete with ghost car image.

Mallory squeegees are made with a durable wiper blade to resist abrasion and include a scrub-net covering for the sponge so they work harder and last longer. The standard 15" and 20" long squeegees include a solid plastic handle with molded grip. Metal head, wooden handle squeegees are also available. The longer 42" squeegee has an anodized aluminum handle so it is ideal for trucks, vans, and pick-ups.

Saint Lawrence of Rome was one of the seven deacons of ancient Rome under Pope Sixtus II that were martyred during the persecution of Emperor Valerian in 258. As deacon in Rome, St Lawrence was charged with the responsibility for the material goods of the Church and the distribution of alms to the poor. After the death of Sixtus, the prefect of Rome demanded that St Lawrence turn over the riches of the Church. St Lawrence asked for three days to gather together the wealth and during that time, worked swiftly to distribute as much Church property to the poor as possible, so as to prevent its being seized by the prefect. On the third day, at the head of a small delegation, St Lawrence presented himself to the prefect, and when ordered to give up the treasures of the Church he presented the poor, the crippled, the blind and the suffering, and said these were the true treasures of the Church. This act of defiance led directly to his martyrdom and can be compared to the parallel Roman tale of the jewels of Cornelia. The prefect was so angry that he had a great gridiron prepared, with coals beneath it, and had Lawrence's body placed on it. After the martyr had suffered the pain for a long time, the legend concludes, he made his famous cheerful remark, "I'm well done. Turn me over!" Anyway, I bet you didn't know this is where we derive the term 'celebrity roast' from (7/45)!

Earlier this week, 5' tall 100-pound former college gymnast champ Kacy Catanzaro became the first woman to complete Esquire TV's American Ninja Warrior course and move on to the next level, Mount Midoriyama. All we can say is watch it for yourself, but get ready for some sympathetic arm pain. Also? HOT. AS. FUCK.

Now from the Never-Let-A-Good-Crisis-Go-To-Waste Department, He Who Shall Not Be Named decided now would be a good time for some backdoor gun control, by issuing an Executive Order banning most Russian firearms from import under the guise of sanctions against Russia. And no, not kidding. Some speculate that will alslso soon be applied to Russian manufactured ammunition, such as Wolf and Silver bear. Also, AIDS research is now completely fucked. So just for the record, if this is some sort of precursor to an alien invasion, or some subterranean species about to wage war on humankind, I'm cheering for the aliens.

Alberto-Culver was an American corporation with international sales whose principal business is manufacturing hair and skin beauty care products under such brands as Alberto VO5, Andrew Collinge, St. Ives skin care products, TRESemmé, FDS, Consort, and Nexxus. It is a manufacturer in the multicultural beauty care market with such brands as Soft & Beautiful, Just For Me, Motions, and TCB.

The job of the testicles is to make sperm and the job of the scrotum is to modulate the temperature of the testicles so that the production of sperm is optimal. In order to do this the scrotum can relax and cool the testicles by allowing them to be farther from the body, or it can contract to bring them closer to the body, thus warming them up. The reason for the wrinkles is that the skin must be long enough to cover it while it is fully relaxed, and when it contracts partially the skin bunches up and has wrinkles. If you notice, your scrotum probably has less wrinkles after you get out of a hot bath or shower. This is because the scrotum has relaxed because the testicles are warm.

What's that, 1080p and 60 frames per second? The hype is real. DOOM 4 IS REAL. Except... it's not called Doom 4. It's called simply “DOOM” and it's just been announced at QuakeCon 2014 today, with id Software showing off first footage. I am buying the fuck out of this game.

And do you know what I would be doing if I were in the bathroom with this naked girl? That's right, I'd be sneezing my ass off because I'm allergic to cats.