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"Here Cometh April Again, And As Far As I Can See The World Hath More Fools In It Than Ever." -- Charles Lamb

One of the great media hoaxes of all time was perpetrated on April 1, 1957 by the BBC, which reported on its news program Panorama that Switzerland was experiencing a bumper spaghetti harvest that year thanks to favorable weather and the elimination of the dread "spaghetti weevil." Staged video footage showing happy peasants plucking strands of pasta from tall trees was so convincing that many viewers actually called the network to ask how they could grow their own.



Sometimes The Wheels Of Justice Turn So Slow, They Seem To Stop?

By any wild chance, you you happen to remember the visit from ATF agents Fast and Furious in May of last year? Long story short was, one of the co-owners of the gun store was trying to get some guns off of his books. What he was doing was, when a customer would buy a single firearm, he would list two on the Form 4473; the real gun purchased plus a second one he wanted to disappear. I was one such customer. I bought a rifle but he noted a rifle AND a handgun; a S&W Model 27 if memory serves me correctly. The BATFE caught wind of this somehow, did some digging around and interviewed me as part of their investigation. For obvious reasons I've avoided that gun store ever since but yesterday on a whim, decided to poke my head back in there and see what's up. As Big Red's tires slowed down and turned into their parking lot, I'll be honest, I was shocked they were even still in business. I mean what the fuck, one of your guys had committed multiple federal felonies so ya know, closed down much?

"No, That Is The Great Fallacy: The Wisdom Of Old Men. They Do Not Grow Wise. They Grow Careful." - Ernest Hemingway

I'm not sure if this is true or not, but after having worked in worked in telecomm for 6 years, all I can say is 50% of men over 40? Shit. May the odds be ever in my favor.



Crouch Down And Lick The Hands Which Feed You.

"Forty years ago, when the resolution of enslaving America was formed in Great Britain, the British parliament was advised by an artful man, who was governor of Pennsylvania, to disarm the people. That it was the best and most effectual way to enslave them. But that they should not do it openly; but to weaken them and let them sink gradually, by totally difusing and neglecting the militia. This was a most iniquitous project. Why should we not provide against the danger of having our militia, our real and natural strength, destroyed? And I ask Sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people except for a few public officials." - George Mason, June 14, 1988.



Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.



And I Have Saluted Adam Yauch Many O'Times At 7am For Just Such An Occasion.

"Stairway to Heaven" is a song by the English rock band Led Zeppelin, released in late 1971. It was composed by guitarist Jimmy Page and vocalist Robert Plant for the band's untitled fourth studio album, often referred to as Led Zeppelin IV. It is often referred to as one of the greatest rock songs of all time. The song, running eight minutes and two seconds, is composed of several sections which increase in tempo and volume as the song progresses. The song begins as a slow acoustic-based folk song accompanied by recorders before electric instrumentation is introduced. The final section is an uptempo hard rock section highlighted by an intricate guitar solo by Page and Plant's wailing vocals, ending with Plant's a cappella delivery of the final line: "And she's buying a Stairway to Heaven".



You Can Never Underestimate The Importance Of A Comma.

The Rolling Stones logo, the iconic tongue image – forever synonymous with the band – was designed by art student John Pasche in 1970, after the band became frustrated by designs provided by their label Decca, which they saw as bland. The logo was commissioned for £50, but The Rolling Stones were so pleased with the design they gave Pasche a bonus of £200. The tongue logo first appeared on their 1971 album Sticky Fingers, and has featured alongside the band's material ever since and is arguably the world's most famous rock logo.



There Are Two Kinds Of People In The World: Those With A Rope Around The Neck, And The People Who Do The Cutting.

A day in the life of law enforcement: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Yeah, just another day in the life of old JD Buck Savage.



That Sir, Is A Very Wise Decision. And Don't Let Anyone Ever Tell You Otherwise

The Ultimate Warrior (born James Brian Hellwig) was an American professional wrestler best known for his appearances in the World Wrestling Federation from 1987 to 1991 and again in 1992 and 1996. He was a two-time WWF Intercontinental Champion and won the WWF Championship when he pinned Hulk Hogan in the main event of WrestleMania VI making him the only wrestler in the history of the company to hold both the WWF Championship and the Intercontinental Championship at the same time. Hellwig legally changed his name to Warrior in 1993 which is also the last name of his wife and children. The cool thing about Warrior was that he wasn’t just a guy pretending to be a maniac in the ring, but instead was an actual legitimately insane person with political views to match. Warrior died on April 8, 2014 at the age of 54, three days after being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame and one day after reappearing on WWE Raw.



It Seems Today, I Will Take 16lbs Please And Thank You.

Normally these physics style games come naturally to me, but for some reason I can't get this fucking green ball to roll up high enough on level 7 of Color Instinct. And no fucking walk-through videos either, that shit is cheating and then you'll have to clean my toenails.



Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.



I Would Almost Be Curious To Hear What The Little Twat Has To Say About Nevada.

American Dad! is an American adult animated sitcom created by Mike Barker, Matt Weitzman, and Seth MacFarlane for the "Animation Domination" lineup on Fox. The series focuses on an eccentric motley crew that is the Smith family and their three housemates: Father, husband, and breadwinner Stan Smith; his better half housewife, Francine Smith; their college-aged daughter, Hayley Smith; and their high-school-aged son, Steve Smith. Outside of the Smith family, there are three additional main characters, including Hayley's boyfriend turned husband, Jeff Fischer; Stan's boss Deputy Director Avery Bullock, the family's man-in-a-goldfish-body pet, Klaus; and most notably the family's zany alien, Roger, who is "full of masquerades, brazenness, and shocking antics."



This Is Our Fucking City.

On April 15, 2013, two pressure cooker bombs exploded exploded about 12 seconds and 210 yards apart, near the finish line of the Boston Marathon, killing 3 people and injuring an estimated 264 others. An unprecedented manhunt ensued on April 19, with thousands of law enforcement officers searching a 20-block area of Watertown. The suspects were identified later that day as Chechen brothers Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev. Shortly after the FBI released the images, the suspects killed an MIT police officer, carjacked an SUV, and initiated an exchange of gunfire with the police in Watertown, Massachusetts. During the firefight, an MBTA police officer was injured but survived with severe blood loss. During the manhunt, authorities asked residents of Watertown and surrounding areas, including Boston, to stay indoors. This week, on the eve of the one-year anniversary of the attack, a number of victims returned to the site of the tragedy for the first time, and photographer Robert Fogarty was there to capture the scene for his “Dear World” project. The results are pretty moving.



I Guess She Is The Blonde Response To Green Arrow?

Incorporating antioxidant fruits into your diet can be extremely beneficial for your health. Antioxidants are vitamins and minerals found in food, which can prevent or slow the oxidative damage to our body. When our body's cells use oxygen, a process called oxidation occurs which produces compounds known as free radicals that can cause damage. Oxidation can lead to serious, long term health problems, including conditions such as diabetes, heart disease, and cancer have all been linked to oxidative damage. The six best antioxidant fruits are blueberries, strawberries, grapes, kiwi, cranberries and acai berries.



I Can't Be The Only Person Who Turns Into A Raging Asshole When They're Hungry.

This video is of a man walking backwards through Tokyo, but the footage has been reversed. The idea behind this video is so simple and might seem silly at first, but the result is fucking awesome.



How About Full On Gorging.

At first I thought this guy was from the United States Capital Police, but the patches don't match up. Any idea what department he belongs to?



Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.



Well, At Least The Dangerous Dog Is Okay.

Oh, my Barney, oh, my Barney, had a jail and couldn't lock it. Had one bullet for his pistol, had to keep it in his pocket.



General John Kelly's Speech About Two Marines In The Path Of A Truck Bomb

Two years ago when I was the Commander of all U.S. and Iraqi forces, in fact, the 22nd of April 2008, two Marine infantry battalions, 1/9 “The Walking Dead,” and 2/8 were switching out in Ramadi. One battalion in the closing days of their deployment going home very soon, the other just starting its seven-month combat tour. Two Marines, Corporal Jonathan Yale and Lance Corporal Jordan Haerter, 22 and 20 years old respectively, one from each battalion, were assuming the watch together at the entrance gate of an outpost that contained a makeshift barracks housing 50 Marines. The same broken down ramshackle building was also home to 100 Iraqi police, also my men and our allies in the fight against the terrorists in Ramadi, a city until recently the most dangerous city on earth and owned by Al Qaeda. Yale was a dirt poor mixed-race kid from Virginia with a wife and daughter, and a mother and sister who lived with him and he supported as well. He did this on a yearly salary of less than $23,000. Haerter, on the other hand, was a middle class white kid from Long Island.

Why Am I Reminded Of Some Joke From My Childhood, Something About Flatman And Ribbon?

With summer approaching, many of you are probably looking forward to the long, sunshine filled days ahead. That sunshine can do more than just warm our skin and give us our daily doses of vitamin D. It can also dry and sanitize our laundry. A clothesline is a very simple way to reduce your energy use and lower your budget. You can see an average savings of $50 per month on your electric bill since starting to use the clothesline. Plus, a simple and inexpensive pulley clothesline allows you to stay in a stationary shaded area while your clothes take the journey. Here are some instructions to install your pulley clothes line system, which you can see in use here. I know, those girls are even more clever as these vanity plates, amirite?



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