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Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Any Man Playing Grab-ass Or Fighting In The Building Spends A Night In The Box.

Them clothes got laundry numbers on them. You remember your number and always wear the ones that has your number. Any man forgets his number spends a night in the box. These here spoons you keep with you. Any man loses his spoon spends a night in the box. There's no playing grab-ass or fighting in the building. You got a grudge against another man, you fight him Saturday afternoon. Any man playing grab-ass or fighting in the building spends a night in the box. First bell's at five minutes of eight when you will get in your bunk. Last bell is at eight. Any man not in his bunk at eight spends the night in the box. There is no smoking in the prone position in bed. To smoke you must have both legs over the side of your bunk. Any man caught smoking in the prone position in bed... spends a night in the box. You get two sheets. Every Saturday, you put the clean sheet on the top... the top sheet on the bottom... and the bottom sheet you turn in to the laundry boy. Any man turns in the wrong sheet spends a night in the box. No one'll sit in the bunks with dirty pants on. Any man with dirty pants on sitting on the bunks spends a night in the box. Any man don't bring back his empty pop bottle spends a night in the box. Any man loud talking spends a night in the box. You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here. Any man don't keep order spends a night in the box.

This Is The Ak-47 Assault Rifle, The Preferred Weapon Of Your Enemy.

Gunnery Sergeant is the seventh enlisted rank in the United States Marine Corps, just above Staff Sergeant and below Master Sergeant and First Sergeant, and is a staff non-commissioned officer (SNCO). It has a pay grade of E-7. The rank was replaced by Technical Sergeant in 1946 until restored in 1959 when the crossed rifles insignia were added to Marine chevrons. The current Gunnery Sergeant insignia consists of two M1 Garands centered vertically between three chevrons and two rockers.

Some Photos Just Deserve A Little More Explanation, Ya Know?

The 4-string banjo is any one of a number of long-necked lute-like stringed instruments with a hollow resonator body and four strings. The instrument was particularly popular in the United States in the early 20th century, and extensively used in jazz. It was also available as a hybrid banjo-ukelele. It enjoyed a brief renaissance in the late 1940s with Mike Pingatore's hit, a revival of "I'm Looking Over a Four-Leaf Clover". In Brazil it is an important instrument also known as "Samba-banjo" or banjo-cavaco, derived from the cavaco, and is especially associated with Samba and its variants. The Brazilian 4-string banjo was first introduced by musician Almir Guineto in the late 1970s and early 1980s, attending on one hand the necessity for a louder instrument similar to the cavaco, and on the other, the drive for innovation.

It's Refreshing To See People Value Loyalty Above A Fucking Paycheck.

The Red Sox drafted 18 year old left-handed pitcher Jon Lester in the second round of the 2002 draft and gave him the highest signing bonus of any second-rounder that year, $1 million. Lester quickly moved through the Red Sox organization, posting an 11–6 record, a league-leading 2.61 ERA and a league-best 163 strikeouts for the Double-A Portland Sea Dogs in 2005. Lester was one of the Red Sox' top-rated prospects while in the minors, and other major league teams made efforts to acquire him. The Texas Rangers had demanded Lester be part of the proposed but ultimately rejected deal before the 2004 season for Alex Rodriguez. The Florida Marlins insisted he be included in the trade for Josh Beckett before the 2006 season, but again, the Sox were able to keep Lester. On August 27, 2006, Lester was scratched from his scheduled start against the Oakland Athletics due to a sore back. The following day he was placed on the 15-day disabled list, and was sent back to Boston for testing. At the time, Lester's back problems were thought to be the result of a car crash he was involved in earlier in the month. On August 31 it was reported that 22 year old Lester had been diagnosed with enlarged lymph nodes and was being tested for a variety of ailments, including forms of cancer. A few days later, doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital confirmed that Lester had a treatable form of anaplastic large cell lymphoma. Lester underwent off-season chemotherapy treatments at Seattle's Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, named after the former MLB pitcher and manager whose life was cut short by cancer in 1964.

I Know It's Not Saturday, I'm Just As Busy As Fuck Today.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

I Think They Just Wanted To Revive The "Carl-Get-Back-In-The-House" Meme.

Well, last night was the mid-season premire for The Walking Dead --

So Why Don't We Do These Olympic Things More Often?.

While I achnowledge that the Sochi Games are indeed turning out to be the best Winter Olympics evar, I do have to question the wisdom of not including Olga Graf in the list of the hottest Russian athletes. Also, it seems very cold in Russia. Meanwhile back here in the states, what do we get? Well, Nissan unveiled the new Frontier Diesel Runner at Chicago Auto Show. So we've got that going for us.

Huh, I Didn't Know Your Mom Worked At A Hospital.

Turns out it was Barry who correctly identified this photo as being taken near the corner of California St and Davis St in San Francisco.

"The Unconditional Requirement - To Outwit The Enemy And Kill Him"

Roza Georgiyevna Shanina was a Soviet sniper during World War II, credited with fifty-nine confirmed kills, including twelve soldiers during the Battle of Vilnius. Shanina volunteered for the military after the death of her brother in 1941 and chose to be a marksman on the front line. Praised for her shooting accuracy, Shanina was capable of precisely hitting moving enemy personnel and making doublets (two target hits by two rounds fired in quick succession). Allied newspapers described Shanina as "the unseen terror of East Prussia". She became the first Soviet female sniper to be awarded the Order of Glory and was the first servicewoman of the 3rd Belorussian Front to receive it. Her last diary entry reports that German fire had become so intense that the Soviet troops, including herself, had sheltered inside self-propelled guns. On 27 January, 1945, Shanina was severely injured while shielding a wounded artillery officer. She was found by two soldiers disemboweled, with her chest torn open by a shell fragment.

Happy Valentine's Day. Or Is It Pepto Bismal Day? I Get Confused Sometimes.

On February 14, 1929, seven members of the North Side Gang, plus gang collaborators Reinhardt H. Schwimmer and John May, were lined up against the rear inside wall of the garage at 2122 North Clark Street, in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago's North Side, and executed. Two of the shooters were dressed as uniformed police officers, while the others wore suits, ties, overcoats and hats, according to witnesses who saw the "police" leading the other men at gunpoint out of the garage after the shooting. John May's German Shepherd, Highball, who was leashed to a truck, began howling and barking, attracting the attention of two women who operated boarding houses across the street. One of the women, Mrs. Landesman, sensed something was wrong and sent one of her roomers to the garage to see what was upsetting the dog. The woman ran out, sickened at the sight. Frank Gusenberg was still alive after the killers left the scene and was rushed to the hospital shortly after real police officers arrived at the scene. When the doctors had Gusenberg stabilized, police tried to question him but when asked who shot him, he replied, "I'm not talking," despite having sustained fourteen bullet wounds.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Mmmmmm, I Do Love Me Some Creamy Australian Shit.

So the wife heads off to work this morning and I get a phone call about 45 minutes later... never a good sign. "What's wrong?" "I'm broken down." Shit. So with a call to AAA we had the TT towed down to the Fort Myers Audi dealer to give it a look see. She reports it would start and physically move, but once she tried to creep past 20mph or so, the ESP light would come on and forcibly brake the car. So, I dunno. Let's hope just a wheel speed sensor? Maybe a Mass Airflow Sensor? Only time will tell....

Say What You Want, Jamie Lee Curtis Had One Hell of A Set of Tits.

When Arnold Schwarzenegger rescues wife Jamie Lee Curtis from an airborne chopper, he grasps her by her arm just as the chopper heads out over the water. The woman you see dangling below the chopper skid is no body double, but Curtis doing her very own stunt work. At her insistence, director James Cameron agreed to let her perform this scary spectacle. According to Jamie Lee Curtis, on the TV special promoting "True Lies", it was Cameron's idea for her to do the helicopter work; she said, "Oh, yeah. And just where are you going to be while I'm dangling way up there in the air, Jim?" And, according to her, he said, "Hanging out the door filming you with a hand-held camera." So she decided that if he was willing to do that to get the shot, she could stand to do it, too. The set of bra and matching panties worn by Helen Tasker (Jamie Lee Curtis) during the striptease scene were Ms. Curtis's own. Eliza Dushku broke some ribs during the filming of her Harrier jet stunt scenes -- seen VERY BRIEFLY here -- but as you can see in a later role for The New Guy in 2002, she healed quite nicely. And Tom Arnold and Schwarzenegger still work out together on occasion.

I'm Not Sure If Her Apparent Enthusiasm Turns Me On, Or Creeps Me Out.

A few unexpected turns in finding some photos this morning. Much to my surprise it wasn't any trouble at all to find the Hanseatic Stock Exchange, the seat of the exchanges AG at the Town Hall Square in Hamburg, Germany -- that photo looks like it was taken near the French flag, if you turn around. But I wasn't able to ascertain which brand of beer this woman is enjoying in her hot tub, nor which brand of shoes this girl just bought. In the latter, I thought Sketchers at first, but the logos don't match up. Any ideas?

I Used To Work With A Girl From The Ukraine. Great Ass.

Depending upon how lazy you are, here are some explanations as to what the fuck is going on in Kiey lately. Here is the Ukraine crisis explained in 90 seconds. The Ukraine protest explained in 3 Minutes. And the Ukraine's protests explained by a Canadian.

We Just Don't Have Big Action Stars Like This Anymore.

Before we get into movie trivia, does anyone else think this lamp looks like the one in the Pixar logo?

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.