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Character Is The Ability To Carry Out A Good Resolution Long After The Excitement Of The Moment Has Passed. - Cavett Robert

Well, the new year is upon us. Of the seven differene types of hangovers, I would say my New Years Day one most closely resembed The Darkness.

20 Years Ago, in January of 1993, AOL 1.0 for Microsoft Windows 3.x Was Launched.

Looks like someone got new boobs for the new year.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Dick Herniation. Man If That Happens, I'm Definately Calling Dr Nanko!

We will start off today's post with a little Jimi Hendrix: "There must be some kind of way out of here," Said the joker to the thief. There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief. Businessman they drink my wine, Plowman dig my earth. None will level on the line, nobody offered his word, hey. "No reason to get excited," The thief, he kindly spoke. "There are many here among us, who feel that life is but a joke. But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate. So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late." All along the watchtower, princes kept the view. While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too!

For Some Inexplicable Reason, I Feel Inclined To Root For The Saints.

I can tell you two things with absolute certainty. First, her tattoo reads, "Happiness is a function of accepting what is." And secondly, this photo was taken at the interection of Folsom Street and 11st Street, in downtown San Francisco.

Week Number One On The Wagon, Complete.

So as I do quite often for the New Year, I have vowed to go dry for 30 days -- actually 31 -- during the month of January. It's kind of an annual purge thing.... let the liver take a breather after the rigorous holiday season, let the wallet take a breather after the rigorous holiday season -- is it new car time already? -- and maybe drop a few pounds. According to this article about some folks who did the same thing last year, liver fat fell on average by 15 per cent -- by almost 20 per cent in some individuals -- blood glucose levels dropped by 23 per cent on average, and total blood cholesterol dropped by almost 5 per cent. So as much as I do miss happy hour, I suppose easing back off the throttle a little bit isn't the end of the world.

Yes, Yes, By All Means, Access Granted.

How much do you know about religion? And how do you compare with the average American? Here's your chance to find out. I scored better than 96% of the public; fuckin Job.

The Eyewitness Account of Operation Redwing and the Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10.

Generally I have somewhat of an unconscious objection to turning national tragedies into entertainment; to me it's capitalizing on someone else's grief. I have never watched, nor do I plan to watch, Flight 93 or World Trade Center. Everything I need to know about both of those events I watched unfold live on my television. So last year when Lone Survivor was announced

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

What Day is It? What Day Is It? Well, It's Not Hump Day.

It is however, January 13th. And that means tonight is the season premire for Archer, baby! And if you don't know who Archer is, then you're no friend of mine. So let's take a quick fly-by through Archer's Dangerzone and recap the interesting tidbits from the first four seasons: the most obscure Archer jokes­ explained, the real life models for the archer characters -- and I'm not big on cartoon crushes, but if I had to pick one I'd be happy with either Lana Kane or her real life counterpart, Aisha Tyler who isn't the most unexpected voice actor I could imagine -- and the top 10 literary references in Archer.

The Growing Disconnect Between Law Enforcement and The Civilian Populace.

I distinctly remember the first time I watched this three minute clip of a Maine State Trooper -- the patience of a fucking saint, that guy -- issuing a speeding ticket to some Pine Tree Stater with a shrilly voice. It was included on some faces Of Death shock style video that me and a few other people had ordered off some late night television ad. Four or five of us, all crowded shoulder to shoulder around a 19" television and shouting "Wait, wait, play that again!" between fits of gut wrenching laughter. The TV show COPS had been on the air for a few years now, but this? This was the first pure uncensored look we had at law enforcement video. And it was fucking gold. So this, coupled with the various scenarios played out on COPS, led the general public to believe that cops were superhumans, incapable of any wrongdoing. That any time someone's mugshot showed up on the news and the perpetrator had a black eye and busted lip, we'd never give it a second's thought. "That asshole must have done something to deserve it, " we'd say, and turn the next page to read what that fat little bastard Garfield was up to this week.

Okay, Everyone Smile For The Boobies.

So I've Googled "DEEA + EDY TONY" and "mediterranean sea derelict" and "ship cracked hull" and all sorts of shit like that, but still can't identify this ship. Any ideas?

And Let's Not Forget Healthcare.gov Going Tits Up For A Month Straight.

Some people mistook Tuesday's post about the growing divide between police and civilians as a cop bashing post. I can assure you this is not the case. A police officer has the right to defend his life, be it from whether it be a knife or a pellet gun. So when the cops do a solid and it's newsworthy, I point it out. Likewise, he cops screw the pooch and it's newsworthy, I point that out, too. I just think that if we hold other professions accountable when their negligence leads to an innocent person's death, then we should hold law enforcement to the same standard. Also, now that no-knock warrants are starting to cause deaths on both sides of the fence, maybe we can rethink this practice as well. And, I still laugh my ass off at this police chase (the LOLz start at the :45 second mark).

If They Really Sold Those Stickers, I'd Buy Them By The Truckload.

Wow, did you know there's a whole Pinterest thread dedicated to pool noodle tricks and tricks? Although I searched pretty thoroughly, I couldn't find any moving tips so I'm not sure what's going on there.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

You Know, I Always Thought Velma Was The Sleeper Of The Bunch.

In March of 2009, MTA New York City Transit officials today awarded Medals of Excellence honoring 34 NYC Transit employees that have either aided customers or fellow employees in distress, in some cases putting their lives in danger. Medals were awarded in three distinct categories: Heroism, Commendation and Distinguished Service. The entire list can be found here and if you scroll down to Superintendent Bruce Johnson, you'll see that he indeed runs a very clean transit station.

Mmmmm, Porn And Beans. Just Like The Cowboys Used To Eat.

The H. J. Heinz Company, famous for its "57 Varieties" slogan and its ketchup, is a United States food processing company with world headquarters in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. For over 140 years, Heinz has been dedicated to bringing you the very best. This tradition continues with their all natural, premium yellow mustard. It's perfect on burgers, hot dogs, sandwiches, and more!

Cryptocurrency, The Jamaican Bobsled Team and John Candy.

You know I have to be honest, I'm rather proud of myself on this one. At first I was going to ask what fruit juice is this woman drinking, but in a move that would have made Jerry Bruckheimer proud, I zoomed, cropped, rotated an enhanced the UPC code on the bottle, searched for "UPC upc 5 901067 454025" and viola! Turns out it's called Kubus, which is a banana, apple, and peach drink from in Poland. But I'm not too proud to turn down help: the jacket on the bed -- what sports team is that?

No Booze, Day 23. I Am My Wits End.

Pete Cabrinha is an American big-wave surfer and windsurfer and kitesurfer. He is an uncommon individual. Pete's dedication to water sports has gained him both pioneer and master status in three of the most cutting edge sports to come along in the past three decades. International titles in surfing, windsurfing, and kitesurfing have put Pete at the top of a short list of world class watermen. Cabrinha is also the founder of Cabrinha Kites, a company specializing in the manufacturer of bow kites and kiteboards.

I Bet They Sold A Shit Ton of Popsicles That Week.

LIFE UPDATE: I am moving to Oregon. SECOND LIFE UPDATE: I need to borrow $3.5 million from someone. Railroad ties used to tie railroad rails together to prevent them from pushing apart and being unable to conduct trains safely. Modern trains run on rails secured through welding or much smaller metal ties. Old-fashioned wooden railroad ties are still popular with homeowners, however, who decorate with them both inside and outside. You can repurpose these thick, sturdy boards to give your home a bit of rustic flair.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.