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Ernie's House of Whoopass! October 4, 2013
October 4, 2013

Suddenly Canada Doesn't Look So Bad Anymore.

An automated pool cleaner is a vacuum cleaner intended to collect debris and sediment from swimming pools with minimal human intervention. It is one of several types of swimming pool vacuum cleaners. Other major types are battery-powered or manually powered wands effective only for very small pools, kiddie or wading pools and small spas and hot tubs, and battery-powered, handheld/extended reach pool and spa vacuums. The latter are powered by rechargeable batteries and can be hand held attached to a telescopic pole used for extended reach. These are used for small to medium-sized pools, larger spas, and to spot clean larger pools.

Vica Kerekes is a Hungarian actress, born in Filakovo and is noted for her various roles in Slovakian, Czech and Hungarian films. She is also famous for her performances on stage and in the pool hall. And evidently they have MUCH better (and NSFW!) television shows over in Hungary, and I firmly believe that she should be the ginger's ambassador, not Conan.

With five different modes of transport from many different vendors, the San Francisco Municipal Railway, or Muni as it is commonly known, runs one of the most diverse fleets of vehicles in the United States. Roughly 800 buses, 200 streetcars, and 40 cable cars see active duty. Historic streetcars are run on the F Market & Wharves line. Introduced as a regular, year-round service in 1995, the F-line heritage streetcar service started out 12 years earlier as a temporary, replacement tourist attraction for the cable cars, during an almost two-year suspension (1982–84) of all cable-car service to permit major infrastructure maintenance to take place. The Philadelphia Suburban Transportation Company PPC, known as the Double-ended "Torpedo", was built in 1948 for Muni. Retired in 1982 and stored until 1994. Restored in 1995. Previously painted in Muni's Breda LRV livery; repainted into the present livery in 1997.

Old and busted: brushing your teeth with baking soda. The new hotness: brushing your teeth with -- wait, what thew fuck? -- strawberries? Yep, teeth whitening tricks that aren't total bullshit.

Hey Ernie. It's Amsterdam Mariner 4.5% from the Grolsch brewery. Only image of this particular can I could find, which doesn't seem to be their regular style can. Cheers, Mark

I hope I have the correct email to tell you this. I regards to "Man fatally shot by police in Klamath Falls" I want to let your readers in a bit of background. I live in Klamath Falls and I know about this guy. He has had more than one run in with the local law as the article says....but what it does not say is that he was looking for a "way out" and figured officer assisted suicide was the way to do it. He was too chicken shit to end it himself and involved the local law enforcement. He was armed and would not abide by the officers orders. They acted with regards to their own safety and that of the public. I do not always agree with law enforcement, but in this case they did the correct thing. Robert in Klamath Falls

If I were to say genderbending cosplay you'd be all like, "Oh sure a ? Count me in." But unfortunately, it goes a little deeper than that.

In Kevin Smith's 1995 movie Mallrats, Ethan Suplee has a small role as Willam Black, some poor fuck -- who like me -- can't see shit when staring at those 3D dimensional puzzles. So everyone sees the fucking sailboat but him. In reality, the the MagicEye "sailboat" picture is actually a 4 x 3 matrix of geometric shapes consisting of a cross, a circle, a diamond, a star, 4 segmented circles and 4 cones. And so I ask you, when Lord? When the hell do I get to see the goddamn sailboat?

On April 3, 1980, a jury found Cornelius Dupree guilty of aggravated robbery and rape after allegedly raping a young woman while holding her at gun point in Dallas, Texas. At the trial, the victim was able to identify Dupree as the perpetrator and forensic evidence was found to be inconclusive on the perpetrator's blood type. Cornelius Dupree was sentenced to 75 years in prison. Although Dupree continually filed three petitions for a retrial, he was denied and was never eligible for parole. It was not until 2006 that the Dallas Country District Attorney's office agreed to conduct more DNA testing on the evidence presented in the trial. Forensic analysts discovered two male profiles on the samples that could not match either Dupree or his accomplice. He was finally granted habeas corpus and was exonerated on all charges on March 3, 2011. After spending 30 years in prison, Dupree was released and married his long-time girlfriend the next day.

I know this will hit home for you too Big E, they are also looking for donations thought maybe you could give em a shout out. There is a special place in Hell for these D-Bags... Danny

Ernie, Thanks for your rant about pot. I was stationed on the USS Ticonderoga CG-47 several years ago. During our final deployment before we decommissioned her we were conducting counter narcotic ops with the US Coast Guard in the Caribbean. We made 5 different busts with a total of 410 bails of cocaine seized and 17 drug runners detained for prosecution in the United States. Here's a few pics of our "prize". Four of the five busts were on go-fast boats and one was a "mother ship" (fishing boat). To protect identities I did photo shop over some faces and the fishing boats name and registration numbers. The average cost of a kilo varies depending on the demand from $12,000 to $35,000. We used $24,000 when we figured up the value of the entire seizure: $24,000 x 25 (kilos per bail) x 410 (bails) = $246,000,000.00 and that's just whole sale value, figure 15 - 20 times more by the time it hits the street.... navydave

Again, my solution is simple. Dog was chained up outside with no shelter, forced to eat rocks and barely stay alive for what.... 48 months? Let's call it 49 months for easy math, so dog years is what, 7:1? Yep, that's 7 months in human time. Old boy has a choice: he spends 48 months in jail, where he will get food, clothing and shelter. Or 7 months chained to a tree just like the dog, void of any shelter, medicine, companionship, clothing, fed sparingly, and feeding occasionally buttfucked by this dog. He picks.

As I said before, I've allowed you to keep your wicked life for two reasons. And the second reason is so you can tell him in person everything that happened here tonight. I want him to witness the extent of my mercy by witnessing your deformed body. I want you to tell him all the information you just told me. I want him to know what I know. I want him to know I want him to know. And I want them all to know they'll all soon be as dead as O-Ren. Or if you prefer a more direct reference: My name is Buck and I'm here to fuck. To the Pussywagon!

Three quick reminders before I do. First, sliced watermelon makes for an excellent snack while boating. Second, pointing your finger should never be a crime. Ever. And third, there was actually a time when I could have used dolphin teeth to pay for my beer. True story, bro.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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