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Ernie's House of Whoopass! June 20, 2013
June 20, 2013

It's Not That I Don't Try. Dickheads Just Don't Write In Anymore.

Sharpie is an American manufacturer of writing instruments (mainly permanent marker pens) whose products are sold in over 20 countries. The Sharpie brand has been widely expanded and can now be found on a variety of previously unrelated permanent and non-permanent pens and markers formerly marketed under other brands. Though Sharpie ink will become permanent after setting, it can be erased. Three or four strokes of a dry erase marker will remove Sharpie ink. WD-40 will work moderately well on recent markings if dry-erase markers is not available.

The Nokia 6303 classic is a mobile telephone handset produced by Nokia in Hungary. The Nokia 6303 classic has been in production since the second quarter of 2009. The phone supports MicroSD cards up to 8 GB, meaning that the phone can be used practically as an MP3 player. Although the 6303 classic has smartphone features such as video playback and a slide out keyboard, it is more user-friendly and straightforward. It is aimed for users who want a reliable and stylish phone, used mostly for calling and texting.

The original Apple Computer, also known retroactively as the Apple I, or Apple-1, is a personal computer released by the Apple Computer Company in 1976, designed and hand-built by Steve Wozniak. Wozniak's friend Steve Jobs had the idea of selling the computer. The Apple I was Apple's first product, and to finance its creation, Jobs sold his only means of transportation, a VW Microbus, and Wozniak sold his HP-65 calculator for $500. I only mention this because ya know, an original 1976 era Apple-1 just sold for $671,000, that's all.

And in celebration of the Kelly Brook topless photos I linked yesterday, let's all take a minute to pay homage to the Brit lass, who despite seeming to have put on a few pounds since her nude swimming scenes in Piranha 3D -- followed up by Piranha 3DD (wink, wink) -- she still pretty looks damn good.

Ernie, I can't seem to find a flame email you once posted. If memory serves me right it goes along the lines of (heavily guessing from memory) "I took a dump, yep a long dump, squeezing out another kentuckian, and wondering if i should hold your hand or ..." alas the water hitting my bum let me know that the time to decide your fate had come, i looked down, I shit black, surely you can tell this isnt going to work out in your favor, you little fuck" ...I went through (I think) every flame email and I was not able to find it, can you help me find a link to that post? I was telling my son about the time I read something so funny, that coffee came out of my nose all over a brand new keyboard. Thanks Bobby

To pull a quote from one of my favorite movies from my childhood... Here is the knowledge you seek! And oddly enough, even though I sent that wayyyyy back in 2001, when I Googled "alt.sex.personals.gangbang.crisco.shampoobottle" it seems my flame was recycled three years later by some dude getting into it with a Canuck. Interesting.

Anyway. So the fucking Stanley Cup Finals are getting better ratings in 2013 than they have in years. Sure, you could point to the fact that the teams are from major American cities -- GO BOSTON -- or that the quality of play has been better than previous years. Maybe all the celebs hanging out at rinks during the playoffs have made hockey seem cool again? So ho's been spotting taking in some playoff action this year? Batman, Cartman, the ex-Mr Jenna Jameson, and Han Solo just to name a few.

The most serious of all beach warning flags, red flags warn swimmers of serious hazards in the water. One red flag means that the surf is high or there are dangerous currents, or both. Though you can still swim if there is a red flag, you should use extreme caution and go in the water only if you're a strong swimmer. Two red flags, however, means that the water is closed to swimming, as conditions are too dangerous for even the strongest swimmers.

Ernie, Great site. Your readers may like this. Keep up the good work. Thanks, James

Hot yet classy eBay chick. Unintentional? I'm not related to anyone in the ad, I was just looking for Coke signs. Chris

Adella Pasos was born and raised in Chicago and has been modeling since 2006, working with a wide variety of talented photographers. As she gained exposure, she branched out to organizing promotional modeling events, hosting for celebrity parties, and branding her name as a spokes model. Next, she'll be working on her acting career. Her interests include football, cars, video games, MMA, modeling, fitness and dance.

As of June 12th, Gasol Air Liquide has signed an agreement to acquire Voltaix Inc., a US based electronics materials company. The acquisition is expected to close later this summer, pending applicable regulatory approvals.

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