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Ernie's House of Whoopass! February 22, 2012
February 22, 2012

Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Waaaaarrmer. Ok, Cold Again.

So yesterday I call back a certain Fort Mohave gun shop, ask for Ray and thank Christ he's in. Ray, I was a little surprised with the number that New Owner threw out there, I was expecting something more in the $700-$750 range. "Yeah, me too," he says. But, Ray assured me that the gun is in fantastic shape, all original, all the blueing is perfect (?) and he'd be happy to send me photos of the gun, so I can take a closer look at the cylinder and whether it is or is not machined out. Okey doke, will do. So a few hours tick by -- remember they're three hours behind me here on the East coast -- and around 6pm my time my phone buzzes with some incoming SMS messages. It's Ray. Sorry the pics are late (no problemo) here are two pics -- one - two -- of your father's gun. Uhhh. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

Now for those of you who might be suffering from Attention Defecit Disorder, dear old pop's weapon of choice is a snub-nosed stainless steel .38 revolver EXACTLY like this. To think those two guns are the same would be like thinking the girl on the left is Polish, or that these two ladies are drinking red wine, or that the girl on the left's favorite color is blue. So it appears that ll this fussing around over the last four months seems to have been chasing the wrong gun. Is that black gun pictured (a Model 10 maybe?) worth $1,250? Maybe, but surely not to me. Now, how the fuck could one track down the wrong gun given that upon our initial phone conversation, I was able to relay a description, and both the model and serial number of the gun in question, only to have "Yep, found the receipt right here?" I dun-fucking-no. It's a good thing I'm not the ATF, eh? But they're going to call me back (again) today after they open (noon my time) and maybe we'll start this fucking dance all over again. Perhaps if and when I get this gun back, the first thing I'll do with it is go on a fucking murder spree.

About your fathers gun, get it back. No matter what the cost. Your efforts to get this gun back will just add to the history of the firearm. My father passed away in 2008 and I was given all of his firearms, included in this is my grandfather's pistol and my great-grandfather's pistol. Believe me when I tell that seeing your son holding his great-great-grandfathers gun is a feeling unmatched by anything I have experienced yet. Just get the damn thing back. Bobby

Ernie, I admire your wanting to reacquire your father's revolver, but there is a limit to emotional attachments. I think the gun-shop is trying to hose you at $1,250. Let it go and look for some other heirloom. Louis Houston, TX

On the premiere episode of Roadkill, Hot Rod's David Freiburger and Mike Finnegan head to El Paso, TX with money and a mission - to find a car they can buy, fix up, and drive back to Los Angeles. The catch? They only have $1500 bucks to do it. Which I thought was a pretty cool concept, until I searched the completed auctions on eBay and came up with zipolla.

In reality, most athletes are overpaid, at least compared to us mortals, but that's just the world of professional sports. These guys provide a valuable service that the vast majority of the population could not, and they generate enough money to justify their bloated pay checks. Well, some of them justify their pay checks. Players like Alex Rodriguez and Michael Vick may be bringing home buckets of cash, but their play combined with their star power ultimately make them well worth the money. Meaning: They're overpaid, but they've still earned their money. Not all professional athletes are super stars though, in fact, most aren't. The majority are role players, specialists or backups--many of whom inadvertently stumble into inexplicably massive contracts. It in every league it seems there's always someone willing to overpay for mediocrity -- and you just fucking know that JaMarcus Russell is numero uno.

For what its worth, (I am a firearms dealer for a second career) your dads gun has been modified, thus its no longer the firearm he sold. I have a feeling that he will not view it the same. If the grips are different and its been polished, it will not have the same look and feel. I could get over the cylinder being machined to accept the moon clips but I am not too sure about the rest. Just my 2 cents. Oh yeah, as a dealer, I would not add any value to the firearm because of these modifications. From a collectors stand, the value is lowered. Regards, David

Ernie, C’mon man. You KNOW they are just fucking with you b/c they know there’s some emotional attachment there and they want to see how much they can screw you out of. You’ll probably get a call in a few days saying the guy might take $1000 for it. Tell them to fuck off and go spend the money on a Kimber 1911 or something. --John from Clarkesville

Thanks for the input on this folks, but it seems all of your advice seems to have been rendered useless by a nice case of mistaken identity. And in a case of NOT mistaken identity, this is Rick Santorum made entirely from porn -- and not that lesbian porn stuff either, that's not very Morman like.

The Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera, a version of the Gallardo, was launched at the 2007 Geneva Auto Show. The Superleggera paid tribute to the first Lamborghini production model, the famous 350GT, which was designed and built by the Carrozzeria Touring in Milan, a coachbuilding company that recently restarted its activities. The Lamborghini Gallardo doesn't have a Superleggera style constructed body, only the name. The engine's improved intake, exhaust and ECU added 10 hp for a total of 523 hp. The 6-speed e-gear transmission, usually a US$ 10,000 option, now comes as a standard. The full price for a Superleggera with everything on it runs for over $260,000. Lamborghini began offering the Gallardo Superleggera in June 2007. In March 2008, Lamborghini announced that they had ceased production of the Gallardo Superleggera. During its production life, 172 were produced, with 10 in white, 34 in grey, 37 in black, 45 in yellow and 46 in orange. Lamborghini has announced today that for the 2012 model year the Gallardo LP 570-4 Superleggera will be priced from $237,600.

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