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Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Oh What, Like You Don't Take Corn To The Beach?

During the re-release of the original Star Wars movies to Blu-Ray, George Lucas had been toying with the idea of having a, "more modern, urban sounding" C-3PO. And just to give you an idea at how timeless a good quality story can be, this is a 4 year old's reaction to finding out that Darth Vader is actually Luke Sykwalker's father.

Well The Rest of My Day Is Planned, How About You?

You have to trust me on two things. First, draw a stickman like the site says. Second, anytime you're asked to draw anything else? Draw little cocks. Trust me.

I Find My Joy At 2612 Santa Barbara Blvd, Cape Coral, FL.

As we saunted into October, that means two things are on the horizon: the season premire of The Walking Dead, and Grumpkins. And one of the more creepier zombies seen in the first episode of The Walking Dead is the affectionately named Bicycle Girl. After Rick leaves the hospital, there is a zombie in the park that is near the bicycle and it's a zombie chick half eaten. She crawls away through the park and it's just freaky to watch. Kudos to the FX and makeup crew for making a rather freaky zombie -- seen here at the at the 1:02 mark, and again at 3:10. This story, made exclusively for the web and directed by Greg Nicotero, tells the tale of The Walking Dead's most iconic walkers.

Say What You Want, The Man Loved Innovative Technology and Turtlenecks.

So I was going to start this post by commenting how the only Apple product I've ever owned in my entire life is a 1Gb iPod shuffle. But then I remembered my Apple Newton; the predecessor to all the smartphones and tablets we have today. And let me assure you, it's 1993 technology did a much better job at handwriting recognition than anything since. Anyway, it was neat for the first year, a novelty the year after that, and a dust collector ever since. As I was preparing for the MA -> FL move back in 2005, I came across my Apple Newton buried in a pile of boxes in my spare bedroom closet. For shits and grins, I turned it on. Nothing. Then I remembered this thing was way before lithium-ion batteries. Yeah this bitch ran on good old AAA's. So i swapped out the batteries, slid the power button and fuck me if I wasn't greeted by the Newton's ubiquitous BONG! sound. Not one to throw away something functional, I stuck it in a box and it too made the trek down to the Sunshine State. Where it sat. In my (very humid) attic. For the last six years. Until this morning when out of tribute to the late Steve Jobs, I decided to give my Newton one more shot at glory. So clad in my pink bunny slippers, I pulled down the ladder to the attic, crawled up and rummaged through many boxes until I had found my prize.

Oh, The Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness! My-Yummy! .

Baseball riddle. What is the ONE thing more fun than watching A-Rod strike out with the bases loaded in the bottom of the 7th? Answer. Watching A-Rod strike out AGAIN in the bottom of the 9th to end the game, as the Detroit Tigers eliminate the NY Yankees from the post season. There is $250M down the drain. Dan

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

In Fourteen Hundred Ninety-two, Columbus Sailed The Ocean Blue.

"What does not destroy me, makes me stronger." - Friedrich Nietzsche

And Today's Douchebag of The Week Award Goes To...

Evelyn Beatrice Hall, who wrote under the pseudonym S.G. Tallentyre, was an English writer best known for her biography of Voltaire with the title The Friends of Voltaire, which she completed in 1906. Hall wrote the phrase: "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it," which is often misattributed to Voltaire himself, as an illustration of Voltaire's beliefs in her biography on him. Hall's quote is often cited to describe the principle of freedom of speech.

Needsless To Say, I Was Asked To Leave.

In case you enjoyed the The Mini Band playing Sweet Child O Mine, here's the 'lead guitarist' 7 year old Zoe during a little bit of practice. What do you think of that, Axl Rose? WHERE IS YOUR SLASH NOW? And if anyone wants to complain, you better think twice because I'll fuckin kick all the haters off, man.

Misery Is Alive! Oooh, I Am Going To Put On My Liberace Records!

Paul, do you know about the early days of the Kimberly Diamond mines? Do you know what they did to the native workers who stole diamonds? Don't worry, they didn't kill them. That would be like junking a Mercedes just because it had a broken spring. No, if they caught them, they had to make sure they could go on working. But they also had to make sure they could never run away. The operation was called hobbling.

Well Ladies and Gentlemen, Let's Hear It For Kevin Chang.

Ahhh, Occupy Wall Street, how you entertain me so. But as with any large protest, we have to accept the good (the informed), the bad (the clueless), and the ugly (the ignorant). queue whistling...

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Meth, Not Even Once. Okay, Maybe Once.

Meth mouth is an informal name for advanced tooth decay attributed to heavy methamphetamine use. According to the American Dental Association, meth mouth "is probably caused by a combination of drug-induced psychological and physiological changes resulting in xerostomia (dry mouth), extended periods of poor oral hygiene, increased consumption of sugared soft drinks, and teeth clenching and grinding." Meth mouth characteristics include: teeth clenching and grinding which leads to the wear and cracks of tooth enamel; oral hygiene neglect; and hyposalivation (dry mouth) which inhibits saliva's natural protective effects directly leads to increased tooth decay, particularly at the gum line. In popular culture, Beaking Bad is an American television drama series set and produced in Albuquerque, New Mexico, which tells the story of Walter White, a struggling high school chemistry teacher who is diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. He turns to a life of crime, producing and selling methamphetamine with a former student, Jesse Pinkman, with the aim of securing his family's financial future before he dies. On August 14, 2011, AMC announced that Breaking Bad was renewed for a fifth and final season.

Those Certainly Aren't The Marines I'm Used To Seeing.

There is only one time when it is acceptable for Soldiers to say, "let's bang his ass in the bathroom," and this is it.

All Others Will be Shredded And Topped With Cheese.

White water rafting is a challenging recreational outdoor activity using an inflatable raft to navigate a river or other bodies of water. This is usually done on white water or different degrees of rough water, in order to thrill and excite the raft passengers. The development of this activity as a leisure sport has become popular since the mid-1970s. It is considered an extreme sport, as it can be dangerous. White water rafting can be a dangerous sport, especially if basic safety precautions are not observed. Depending on the area, safety regulations covering raft operators may exist in legislation. These range from certification of outfitters, rafts, and raft leaders, to more stringent regulations about equipment and procedures. It is generally advisable to discuss safety measures with a rafting operator before signing on for a trip, and above all else, don't spill your beer.

Acne vulgaris (acne) is a common human skin disease, characterized by areas of skin with seborrhea (scaly red skin), comedones (blackheads and whiteheads), papules (pinheads), pustules (pimples), Nodules (large papules) and possibly scarring.

Sometimes I Feel Like Ernie Nye, The Science Guy.

And no, this has nothing to do with God and the moon.

Holy Rapture 2, Electric Bugaloo.

Just a friendly reminder, we're all gonna fuckin die today. Again.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Shhhhh, Or They'll Know We're Out Of The Kitchen.

Nothing to see here, just a re-enactment of the scene in From Dusk Till Dawn. You know, the one where the Richie and Seth Gecko fight Satanico Pandemonium. And on a related note Tia Texada -- I remember her from Third Watch -- has Bar Dancer/From Dusk Till Dawn listed in her IMDB movie credits, but fuck all if I can tell which one is her? Google Image search says it's this one, but I don't see it. Does anyone know for sure?