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Ernie's House of Whoopass! February 21, 2011

February 21, 2011

Where Did The Weekend Go?

Well, it looks like I'm not the only one addicted to Angry Birds.

This was a rather eventful weekend. Goodnews: My new safe got delivered without destroying anything. Bad news: The other half's car needed some Quattro repair, to the tune of $968 fucking dollars. Good news: Sold my old safe for $300, which offset some of that cost. Good news: Finally made it out to Babcock-Webb where they've got a 300 yard outdoor range so now I'll start shooting there, just as long as I don't mind sweating my balls off. But if I can take joy in nothing else from this past weekend, at least Justin Bieber is dead.

Someone claims to have compiled a list of the characteristics that men look for in the perfect girlfriend. Obviously nobody asked me, because "big tits" is way too far down on the list.

Hey Ernie, Not to blow a hole in time travel, but one of the main stumbling blocks is position. The earth is spinning and orbiting the sun and the sun is in motion within our galaxy and our galaxy is moving through the universe. If you travel back in time you would arrive in the place you left from not where the earth was in that time. One hell of a shot to be where you want to be if you ask me. Maybe if you have a time traveling spaceship, you could travel back and the go to where the earth is located at that time, but not in a DeLorean. - Sam

Hi Ernie, I 'm pretty sure you've been following the crap going on in the Middle East . . . Well, I ran across some raw footage of two Americans getting gunned down by the Libyans. Kaddaffi will swing for this! Cheers, Charley

In 95% of war movies, a soldier goes away to war and finally comes back home to his family and tries to put his life back together. It's all over with, and the movie can either end, or switch to showing the dramatic consequences of his war experience. One way or the other, that part of his life is behind him. Time for a quiet retirement of shrimping. In reality, military life isn't like that. If you end up deploying to war these days, chances are that you won't go just once. Instead, you'll go there and come back. And then go again. Then come back. And so forth. Repeat three, four or even more times depending on how unlucky you are. How long you're gone depends on your job: Army troops might get 12 months away, then two years back; other services might give you six months on and 12 months off. So instead of having one unique learning experience and coming home with a grim or hopeful life lesson to share with the audience, you have to learn to cope with going back to the same place (or the same type of place) again, and then go back and try to readjust again in the six or so months you've got before you're due to go again. You can imagine what that does to relationships, or to children. A family member who is fine with you going away for a year won't be so happy the third time it happens.

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