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E R N I E ' S H O U S E O F W H O O P A S S
LET'S BRING EM HOME 2018 HAS COMPLETED 99 TICKETS SO FAR!
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October 07, 2010 | ||
Here Are Some Things I Can't Believe Happen.I can't believe that a Harley Davidson doesn't float. Not even a little bit. I can't believe the number of girls who film themselves pole dancing. Now hold on just a cotton pickin minute here. This isn't just another video of a chick trying to pole dance and inevitably falling on her head in a spine crushing crumble of coconut body spray and ridiculously tall high heels. When was the last time you saw a pole dance go off without a hitch? Even better, when was the last time you saw a pole dance go off without a hitch, by the girl wielding a ninja sword? Well, if you're in a dry streak in that regard, let it be henceforth broken. You're welcome. I can't believe this dog's owner wasn't as loyal to his dog, as his dog was to him. I can't believe that people still go crazy over Denise Milani. I mean yes, she's absolutely beautiful and has an amazing body. But. I'd love the chance to ask her a very important question: Denise my love, when are you going to take your fucking top off for real? Enough with this teasing shit, let's see the fucking goods already. It's no wonder your domain has been hijacked -- people are pissed! Sure, you won it back in a big expensive lawsuit but that's not going to stop the animosity from the public at large. I find your lack of titty exposure very annoying. Likewise, it still amazes me that people are still all up and excited about Christina Hendricks. Oh she's a readhead, oh she's got big tits. Well two things to remember folks: first, she won't show hers either. And secondly, while yes she does have her moments keep in mind that this is how she looks before the makeup artists and wardrobe techs get a hold of her. Yeah, beat off to that, I dare you. I can't believe anyone finds Monty Python funny, or this girl doesn't have car insurance, or this girl can be so culturally insensitive to Native Americans.
I can't believe that it took this long for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson to give up on those stupid ass Disney flicks and go back to what he was born to do -- motherfucking action movies! Because Faster! looks motherfucking AWESOME. I can't believe that a fucking Senetorial candidate began a campaign commercial by saying, "I am not a witch." Are you fucking kidding me? How batshit crazy do you have to be to see this video play up on a conference room monitor and say, "Yep, let's green light that. That's the message we want to send." For Christ's sake this is America and the year is 2010, not Salem, Massachusetts in 1692. The only thing I find more unbelievable than this is knowing somewhere out there are people who will be even more batshit crazy to vote for her. I can't believe that in any way, shape or form, Milla Jovovich would fuck Robert Deniro. Not in my world, anyway.
I can't believe Germans are the universal bad guys, or how much this must have hurt. I can't believe that firefighters let a family's home burn to the ground because they didn't pay a $75 fire protection fee. Someone should send that mayor a strongly worded email. I can't believe Nicholas Cage is still getting work. You want to talk about a guy who went from just about fucking owned Hollywood in the late 1990's to wanting to star in the action remake of Schlindler's List, called Schlindler's Fist (or Schlindler's Pissed?) But I CAN believe that a fundamental law of human nature is that people of every color, creed and nationality want to see boobies as much as possible. In their effort to control all aspects of life in their countries, governments with too much power often seek to limit people’s access to good old-fashioned boobage. But of course what’s actually important is the porn. So here are fifteen countries and where they rank in relative tata-tacularness. don't just define a word... let's SUPER define it! 'espn: the magazine' body issue: ranking the nearly nude photos. the full duke university "fuck list" thesis from a former female student. mostly sfw. |
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