How To Build An Atomic Bomb.
1.INTRODUCTION - Worldwide controversy has been generated recently from several court decisions in the United States which have restricted popular magazines from printing articles which describe how to make an atomic bomb. The reason usually given by the courts is that national security would be compromised if such information were generally available. But since it is commonly known that all of the information is publicly available in most major metropolitan libraries obviously the court's officially stated position is covering up a more important factor; namely that such atomic devices would prove too difficult for the average citizen to construct. The project will cost between $5000 and $30000 depending on how fancy you want the final product to be. Since last week's column "Let's Make a Time Machine" was received so well in the
2.CONSTRUCTION METHOD - 1.First obtain about 50 pounds (110 kg) of weapons grade Plutonium at your local supplier. A nuclear power plant is not recommended as large quantities of missing Plutonium tends to make plant engineers unhappy. We suggest that you contact the Eagle Scouts in your neighborhood.
2.Please remember that Plutonium especially pure refined Plutonium is somewhat dangerous. Wash your hands with soap and warm water after handling the material and don't allow your children or pets to play in it or eat it. Any left over Plutonium dust is excellent as an insect repellant. You may wish to keep the substance in a lead box if you can find one in your local junk yard but an old coffee can will do nicely.
3.Fashion together a metal enclosure to house the device. Most common varieties of sheet metal can be bent to disguise this enclosure as for example a briefcase a lunch pail or a Buick. Do not use tinfoil.
4.Arrange the Plutonium into two hemispheral shapes separated by about 4 cm. Use rubber cement to hold the Plutonium dust together.
5.Now get about 100 pounds (220 kg) of trinitrotoluene (TNT). Gelignite is much better but messier to work with. Your helpful hardware man will be happy to provide you with this item.
6.Pack the TNT around the hemisphere arrangement constructed in step 4. If you cannot find Gelignite fell free to use TNT packed in with Playdough or any modeling clay. Colored clay is acceptable but there is no need to get fancy at this point.
7.Enclose the structure from step 6 into the enclosure made in step 3. Use a strong glue such as "Crazy Glue" to bind the hemisphere arrangement against the enclosure to prevent accidental detonation which might result from vibration or mishandling.
8.To detonate the device obtain a radio controlled (RC) servo mechanism as found in RC model airplanes and cars. With a modicum of effort a remote plunger can be made that will strike a detonator cap to effect a small explosion. These detonatior caps can be found in the electrical supply section of your local supermarket. We recommend the "Blast-O-Mactic" brand because they are no-deposit-no-return.
9.Now hide the completed device from the prying eyes of neighbors and children. The garage is not recommended because of high humidity and the extreme range of temperatures experienced there. Nuclear devices have been known to spontaneously detonate in these unstable conditions. The hall closet or under the kitchen sink will be perfectly suitable.
10.Now you are the proud owner of a working thermonuclear device! It is a great ice-breaker at parties and in a pinch can be used for national defense!
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