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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
April 15, 2014

This Is Our Fucking City.

On April 15, 2013, two pressure cooker bombs exploded exploded about 12 seconds and 210 yards apart, near the finish line of the Boston Marathon, killing 3 people and injuring an estimated 264 others. An unprecedented manhunt ensued on April 19, with thousands of law enforcement officers searching a 20-block area of Watertown. The suspects were identified later that day as Chechen brothers Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev. Shortly after the FBI released the images, the suspects killed an MIT police officer, carjacked an SUV, and initiated an exchange of gunfire with the police in Watertown, Massachusetts. During the firefight, an MBTA police officer was injured but survived with severe blood loss. During the manhunt, authorities asked residents of Watertown and surrounding areas, including Boston, to stay indoors. This week, on the eve of the one-year anniversary of the attack, a number of victims returned to the site of the tragedy for the first time, and photographer Robert Fogarty was there to capture the scene for his “Dear World” project. The results are pretty moving.

Those of you who have been reading EHOWA for a while know I'm a huge fan of the original DOOM. It was the first FPS game to break the third axis barrier and allow for climbing stairs, and jumping and falling. I can't tell you how many hours I've spent in a darkedened room, curtains closed and speakers cranked to the max, sl;inging shotgun shells and trying to figure out how far away an Imp was by the sound of his growl. And it's a wonder I haven't had twenty heart attacks from coming around a corner and coming face to face with a Pinky Demon. So much so that back when DOOM 3 was released back in 2004, I went out and bought a brand new computer, monitor and big ass Logfitech surround sound system just to play it. Unfortunately, the follow up simply didn't have the fluid playability that the original (and DOOM 2) enjoyed. I will still on occassion -- usually after having x-number of beers -- break out my old laptopfor some Doom 95 fun. When I bought Doom 3 -- the only game I've ever bought the very same day it was released -- it came with a small pewterPinky Demon from the original Doom; I tried to find mine to snap a photo, but fuck all if I could find it. Who would have guessed the figurine alone would be worth $40 one day? I only mention this because iD Software has two new releases pending; one this year and one in 2015. The one due out this year is Wolfenstein New Order and its limited Panzerhund Edition release comes with a hand-painted Panzerhund statue, folder containing maps, case files, letters, blueprints and an x-ray, a set of full-color ‘vintage' postcards from Wolfenstein's alternate 1960's, three embroidered patches, replica dog tags, and a steel book case to house your game -- that's right, the fucking game is sold separately. But the game does come with -- and this is fucking IMPORTANT -- a key to get in on the beta test of Doom 4. So yes, DOOM FUCKING 4.

Hey Las Vegas people -- correct me if I am wrong but if I have the blue globe at the entrance of Paris Las Vegas on my left with with Bally's in the background, then I would be on a balcony at The Cosmopolitan, amirite?

The .308 Winchester is a rimless, bottlenecked, rifle cartridge and is the commercial cartridge from which the 7.62×51mm NATO round was derived. It is also commonly used for civilian target shooting, military sniping, and police sharpshooting. The relatively short case makes the .308 Winchester especially well-adapted for short-action rifles. When loaded with a bullet that expands, tumbles, or fragments in tissue, this cartridge is capable of high terminal performance. And while you can drop some serious cake on one, here are the most affordable .308's ranging anywhere from $850 to $1,200. And a friendly reminder to my friends still tapped in New York State: don't forget to register your assault weapons today, or risk becoming an overnight felon! BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Muffin Break is a unique cafe bakery, straight from Australia, that offers an irresistible combination of quality/gourmet coffee and freshly baked cakes, slices, quiches, sandwiches, paninis and of course, muffins! Everything is baked and prepared on the premises using quality ingredients, so you can be assured its always fresh. For over 20 years, the Muffin Break team has been serving the world's best muffins. There are more than 200 flavors in the range, with high fibre, Gluten Free and savoury varieties available.

April 14, 2014

I Would Almost Be Curious To Hear What The Little Twat Has To Say About Nevada.

American Dad! is an American adult animated sitcom created by Mike Barker, Matt Weitzman, and Seth MacFarlane for the "Animation Domination" lineup on Fox. The series focuses on an eccentric motley crew that is the Smith family and their three housemates: Father, husband, and breadwinner Stan Smith; his better half housewife, Francine Smith; their college-aged daughter, Hayley Smith; and their high-school-aged son, Steve Smith. Outside of the Smith family, there are three additional main characters, including Hayley's boyfriend turned husband, Jeff Fischer; Stan's boss Deputy Director Avery Bullock, the family's man-in-a-goldfish-body pet, Klaus; and most notably the family's zany alien, Roger, who is "full of masquerades, brazenness, and shocking antics."

Andy Samberg? Logan Lerman? Fred Armisen? We've got a pretty loose interpretation of the phrase celebrity cameo, don't we? Although getting kneed in the nuts by Emma Watson would totally be worth it all.

Desert Essence Castile Liquid Soap is made with Eco-Harvest Tea Tree Oil and is great for cleansing hands, face and body. As gentle as it is effective, it soothes and smooths your skin as it cleans. Castile Liquid Soap is made with Eco-Harvest Tea Tree Oil and is skin friendly and provides consistent performance you can depend on. Castile Liquid Soap is made from coconut and other vegetable oils and gently washes away dirt and impurities. Olive oil moisturizes the skin and Eco-Harvest Tea Tree Oil reduces oil and diminishes imperfections. The result is skin that looks and feels smooth, silk and clean.

The man who was as famous for his Slim Jim ads as his wrestling performance went from being one of the most iconic wrestlers of the WWF's golden years, to an early grave in May of 2011. Yes, it has been almost three years since Randy the Macho Man Savage suffered a heart attack while driving his second wife, and was found to have an enlarged heart and a cocktail of trace amounts of painkiller and alcohol in his system. The Macho Man was indeed one of thr wrestlers who died far too young.

Stay classy, Simpsonville South Carolina, staaay classy! Ryan

Hole E. Shitballs. Which came first, the badass or the SEAL? Damn. Robert

Ernie, Shoot the purple ball to the top spot. Shoot the top of the green ball when the purple ball is at it's largest size. Green ball will roll up and back, then fall down to the lower shooting spot. Shoot green ball to top shooting spot. Then shoot the star. Good Luck, Andy

Smartwater is distilled water and electrolytes with 10 mg of calcium, 15 mg of magnesium, and 10 mg of potassium per liter. It is available in 700 mL, 1 L, 1.5 L, and 20 oz bottles.

Boucher Brothers Management has been providing the tourism industry, for over twenty-five years with pool, beach, water sports, large corporate group events and food and beverage services. Growing up and working on the beach, their recreational adventures turned into a family owned business in 1987. They have provided highly regarded concessions to some of the finest hotels and properties serving a total of over 100 hotels and condominium properties and 45 blocks of public beach throughout Florida's east coast, 50 blocks of public beach in Virginia Beach, Virginia and four beaches and 6 blocks of public beach Lake Michigan, Chicago, Illinois.

Unbeknown to Catyholic protesters, Kevin Smith joined one of the Catholic groups that protested his film Dogma. He managed to get interviewed by a reporter who recognized him, though Smith managed to stay incognito by giving his friend's name (Bryan Johnson) as his own and telling her that he is often mistaken for the Clerks director director. William Donohue of the Catholic League lambasted the film and publicly protested against it for months without actually seeing the film, after which his office called View Askew offices and said "Dr. Donohue requested a private screening of Dogma so that he can speak about it intelligently." Kevin Smith's response was: "So what has he been doing the past six months?"

my question is "why does that girl have a moustache?" looks like the map is simplified graphically and rotated about 15 degrees counter clockwise making Manhattan run north to south. probably fits into a narrower poster that way. greetings from Canada... all the best, airdave

This looks llike Holly Van Voast topless on the subway at the West 4 st. Wash Sq. Station, in New York. Rick

Yep, got it... and now I am on level 14. Also without giving any spoilers away, this is why George R.R. Martin shouldn't plan your wedding.

The word meat covers a lot of different things, but in the modern world it really only refers to a few: Chicken, pork, beef, turkey, fish. But for the adventurous, there are lots of more unusual and obscure meats out there, and thanks to modern technology you can order many of them online. Here are nine ideas to get you started.

Huh. It looks like the Natural Resource Projects Inventory seems to have changed their logo recently.

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

April 12, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

elephant crashes pool party

so you stepped in dog shit in public. now what?

national geographic concludes what americans will look like in 2050 (rashida jones!) and it's beautiful.

your weekend boob dump: one - two - THREE - four - five - SIX - seven - eight - NINE - ten - eleven - TWELVE

April 11, 2014

It Seems Today, I Will Take 16lbs Please And Thank You.

Normally these physics style games come naturally to me, but for some reason I can't get this fucking green ball to roll up high enough on level 7 of Color Instinct. And no fucking walk-through videos either, that shit is cheating and then you'll have to clean my toenails.

When it comes to your suspension system, there are many components that play an important role. Most people know that a leveling kit, shocks and struts, and lift kits can make a big difference in the way a vehicle drives. But, what about steering stabilizers; what does a steering stabilizer do? The purpose of a steering stabilizer is to tame the action of trucks and SUVs with oversized tires. When you equip your ride with larger tires, you may become a victim of the shimmy effect. But, a steering stabilizer ends the common vibration problem that larger tires can cause, smoothing out your ride. So, you get improved handling and better ride quality.

Who would have guessed that Bill Fucking Murray would be one of the 13 Greatest David Letterman sports moments in his career? But then again, it is Bill Fucking Murray, so why the hell not? And just for the record, if someone I know actually shot and kileld Bull Murray, I'd probably jam my foot up their ass.

No more chasing that umbrella as it blows across the beach or struggling to stick it in the sand. Just pop your beach umbrella - no matter what size - into the sand anchor, and enjoy a carefree day at the beach. No worrying about the umbrella blowing over; the anchor withstands winds up to 30 mph. Once the umbrella anchor is easily twisted into the sand all you'll need to do is insert your umbrella pole into the anchor and tighten the thumbscrew.

Some trivia on that 1985 classic, The Goonies: everything Chunk Eats -- remember this was considered fat back then -- everything wrong with the movie, and every castmember today. You're welcome.

Wrinkles are a natural phenomenon that occur when important proteins, called elastin and collagen, break down in the skin. One common place where wrinkles form is the nose, including upper nose bridge wrinkles referred to as "bunny lines" or the wrinkles that run from the nose to the mouth called "nasolabial folds." When it comes to relieving wrinkles on the nose, there are several treatment options available.

If you'd like to make your life easier, might I suggest that you implement some of these ideas to make your house FUCKING AWESOME.

What city's subway is this? I presume New York City, but I haven't been able to find a map matching the one on the left side of the doors.

April 10, 2014

That Sir, Is A Very Wise Decision. And Don't Let Anyone Ever Tell You Otherwise

The Ultimate Warrior (born James Brian Hellwig) was an American professional wrestler best known for his appearances in the World Wrestling Federation from 1987 to 1991 and again in 1992 and 1996. He was a two-time WWF Intercontinental Champion and won the WWF Championship when he pinned Hulk Hogan in the main event of WrestleMania VI making him the only wrestler in the history of the company to hold both the WWF Championship and the Intercontinental Championship at the same time. Hellwig legally changed his name to Warrior in 1993 which is also the last name of his wife and children. The cool thing about Warrior was that he wasn’t just a guy pretending to be a maniac in the ring, but instead was an actual legitimately insane person with political views to match. Warrior died on April 8, 2014 at the age of 54, three days after being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame and one day after reappearing on WWE Raw.

Every place I searched to try and find some Garnier Ambre Solaire Sun Oil spray seemed to be out of stock, so I don't know where this girl got her bottle from.

Fuze Beverage, commercially referred to as simply Fuze (pronunciation: fu-zee), is a manufacturer of teas and non-carbonated fruit drinks enriched with vitamins. Currently the brand consists of five vitamin-infused lines: Slenderize, Refresh, Tea, Defensify, and Vitalize. The use of vitamins, amino acids, and herbs, and alternative sweeteners such as crystalline fructose places Fuze products in what is known in the industry as the "new age" beverage category. In 2009, Fuze entered into an agreement to sell its products fountain-style in over 22,000 Subway sandwich shops. Leveraging Coke's distribution system and relationships, sales more than doubled from 2007 to 2008.

Charlize Theron has a nice glabella. I can't stand too much barm. I am known for my griffonage. Yeah, you would never have guessed these common everyday things have actual names.

Not sure if you saw this one.... ...but probably something close. Shit's getting real out there; the supporters of Cliven Bundy are calling it the next Ruby Ridge/Waco. Ron

Nevada cattle rancher Cliven Bundy is appealing for help to stop the Federal Bureau of Land Management and the FBI from removing his 900 or so cattle. He claims his family have owned 600,000 acres of Gold Butte since 1870. The federal government claims that the cattle are trespassing on arid and fragile habitat of the endangered desert tortoise. Heavily armed federal officers, equipped with 9 helicopters and backed up with snipers, have descended on the land. As a gentle reminder, when federal agents are squared off against the Mexican drug cartels? They're only allowed beanbags guns. Meanwhile, Feds have removed rusted hundreds of the cattle in the past two weeks and when Bundy's son tried to film federal agents doing so, they arrested him for violating a "First Amendment Area". The federal authorities say that Bundy has refused to pay for grazing rights for 20-years. Bundy has said the land is his and his constitutional rights are being trampled on. Meanwhile, the head of the Department of Justice is openly telling lawmakers to go piss up a rope. So yeah as I watch these events unfold, my face filled with surprise and wonder, I do indeed think shit is about to get very real.

I think if the Bureau of Land Management shoudl focus their efforts into more worthwhle ventures that don't infringe upon Americans' rights. For example, 13 billion pounds of paper towels are used in the U.S. every year. If all Americans used one less paper towel a day, 571,230,000 pounds of paper would be spared over the course of the year.

And from the If-You-Blinked-You-Missed-It department: the limited-edition Mopar 2014 Challenger -- and when I say limited, I mean only 100 built making it the rarest limited-production Dodge Challenger offered to date -- has sold out the first day after being made available to dealers.

Didn't you catch one of these when you first moved down to Fla? Bart

Wow, good memory dude. I caught that redfish was way back in November of 2005, almost nine years and 45 lbs ago. Time flies, eh?

Some people will look back at this era of Major League Baseball, note the drop in batting averages and ERAs, and call it “The Golden Age of the Pitcher.” Not me, though. When I look at the game right now, the most noteworthy trend I see is not the dominance of pitchers but the preponderance of splendid facial hair. So in my book, this is the "Golden Age of the King Leonidas Beard." So who is leading the way in this facial hair revolution? Let's let today’s list answers that question. Take a look.

I am pretty sure that this Super 8 Motel parking lot is where this photo was taken.

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