When You Used To Tell Me That You Chase Tornadoes, Deep Down I Thought It Was Just A Metaphor.

Let me begin by saying I sure am glad this lady got her dog back safely. I haven't been this relieved since I found out I was in Ms Apple's geography class.

While the storm itself is an unpredictable act of Mother Nature, our very reaction to it is not and is still very much under our control. So in light of these 24 tragic -- and very preventable -- deaths, I look forward to the families of those killed in the Oklahoma tornado being called to testify before Congress and ask for federal funding for supercomputers to better model and predict these killer storms. I look forward to the survivors being paraded around on television and used as props to support Executive Orders to reform and enforce new of building codes. And of course the inevitable DEMAND A PLAN video featuring several celebrities calling for more tornado shelters in public areas. Because you know... IF IT SAVES ONE LIFE, right?

If there's one thing I like about Tumblr it's this: you can bypass all of the day to day post and comment shit, and just go right to the meat and potatoes of a person's Tumblr blog. Example. Let's say you like big titties -- and let's be honest, who doesn't -- so you're a fan of Big Tits Oh Yeah ! But let's also say that you don't want to scroll through all of that crap and click next-next-next-next. All you have to do is append "/archive" to the URL and viola! Tumblr's design is fucking PERFECT. In fact, Tumblr CEO and founder David Karp has resisted the use of traditional display advertising on Tumblr to this point. So the phrase of the day is Don't Fuck This Up; That was the key message for Yahoo management by investors and industry watchers as they digest Yahoo's $1.1 billion acquisition of Tumblr that was announced Monday. But the deal raises concerns among some Tumblr fans that the site could end up being cluttered by the ads that brings in billions of dollars a year to Yahoo.

The fact is that the majority of our nation's children spend almost every day trapped inside schools that are proudly emblazoned with signs reading "Gun Free Zone." But when Project Veritas offered that same opportunity to some of America's most fervent advocates for gun control they flat out refused. If it's good enough for children, why isn't it good enough for them?

The two primary health risks from space heaters are the risk of fire, and the risk of carbon monoxide poisoning. The latter risk accompanies gas and kerosene heaters but not electric ones. The risk of fire from electric heaters may be mitigated by low surface temperatures, by switches that cut power in the event of the device being knocked over, or by thermal cut-out switches. Experts to suggest keeping combustible materials such as bedding, furniture, and curtains at least three feet from the front of the heater and away from its sides and rear.

It Came From The Intertubes:

The National Basketball Association has a proud tradition of trash talking that no amount of personal fouls or game ejections can obscure. But just like with other more athletic aspects of the game, some players are more skilled at trash talk than others. Here are nine of the greatest trash-talking moments in the history of the NBA. From Shaq, to Kobe, to Larry Bird, all the trash-talking greats are here. It might even make you reflect on how the art of the trash talk isn't what it used to be.

A paper shredder is a mechanical device used to cut paper into chad, typically either strips or fine particles. Government organizations, businesses, and private individuals use shredders to destroy private, confidential, or otherwise sensitive documents. Privacy experts often recommend that individuals shred important documents such bills, tax documents, credit card and bank account statements, and other items which could be used by thieves to commit fraud or identity theft.

And by the way, that line was by Jami Gertz from Twister and the closest she's come to going topless is this scene from Less Than Zero.

Holy Crap, Look At That! Gas Was Under $2 a Gallon!

A touch-sensitive lamp is one that is activated by human touch rather than a flip, pushbutton, or other mechanical switch. They act on the principle of body capacitance. These lamps are popular as desk and nightstand lamps. The touch-sensitive is not only an ON/Off switch but also a dimmer switch, that allows one to make an electric light brighter or less bright.

So I went and saw Star Trek: Into Darkness this weekend and it was good, very good. The visual effects were nothing shy of absolutely fucking stunning and it's one of those movies where if you don't see it on the big screen in 3D, you're cheating yourself. The storyline was kind of [spoiler!] predictable -- you'll peg Robocop as the bad guy within the first 30 minutes -- but to me the biggest disappointment was the (homage?) to the the reactor scene from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. In Darkness, it's New Kirk dying in in the reactor room, and New Spock on the outside looking in. Added disappointment: after New Kirk dies, New Spock does the Khaaaan! scream. But Aside from that no-homage-allowed sticking point, I didn't find it anywhere near as dry as some people claim, but it wasn't as good as the fist one, either.

Car covers can help protect your car parked in the great outdoors from the damaging effects of ultraviolet radiation, acid rain, bird droppings, wind borne particles, sun fading, the claws of animals and even the prying eyes of thieves (let them guess as opposed to knowing). Inside your garage a quality cover provides a barrier against airborne dirt and foot borne varmints. The use of a car cover is a double-edged sword, as they are both protective and possibly damaging. A cover that does not fit properly may be more damaging than no cover at all. If it is too loose, wind may cause it to flap against the paint, causing severe scratching.

Sunny Leone is a Canadian actress, model and former pornographic actress. She was named Penthouse Pet of the Year in 2003 and was a contract star for Vivid Entertainment. Named by Maxim as one of the 12 top porn stars in 2010, she has also played roles in mainstream films and television shows. And let's be honest, if you're looking for a model to promote your thirts by wearing them -- or in some cases, not weasing them -- she's not a bad choice to make, amirite?

Diamond plate, also known as checker plate, tread plate and Durbar floor plate, is a type of lightweight metal stock with a regular pattern of raised diamonds or lines on one side, with the reverse side being featureless. Diamond plate is usually steel, stainless steel or aluminum. Steel types are normally made by hot rolling, although modern manufacturers also make a raised and pressed diamond design. Used on stairs and catwalks in industrial settings, the added texture reduces the risk of slipping. For this reason diamond plate is frequently used on the interior of ambulances, on the footplates of firetrucks, and in the fabrication of storage for commercial pickup trucks. Diamond plate can also be used decoratively, particularly highly polished aluminum variants.

And in case you were wondering, I post those random factoids to help make you feel smart. At least a little smart.

I know, I know. Only The Rock could make The Rock look like a sissy, right? Well it's all about perspective, people.

If the itch is getting to you every time you drive by a body of water, then you will be hooked the minute you set foot into a boat. The benefits of owning your own boat out weigh the hassles of making appointments for rentals, getting the timing right with a buddy who owns a boat or having to stay at one lake all the time. First things first though, before you buy your own, go out to your local marina and rent one for a few hours. Rentals can run $30 dollars an hour but it makes a great trainer for the novice. Most marinas will walk you through the steps of pulling in and out of the dock, how to tilt your engine etc. If you enjoy renting a boat, then you are ready to buy one.

So that's it. That's me. Back before any of this crazy shit happened. I guess I'm the last person you'd expect to become a superhero. I'm not saying there was anything wrong with me, but there was nothing special, either. I wasn't into sports, I wasn't a mathlete or a hardcore gamer. I didn't have a piercing, or an eating disorder, or 3000 friends on MySpace. My only superpower was being invisible to girls. And out of my friends, man, I wasn't even the funny one. Like most people my age, I just existed.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

florida -- the first SHALL ISSUE state -- enjoys the lowest crime rate in 42 FUCKING YEARS

the absolute best fucking deals on what ammo is in stock and available for shiping RIGHT NOW

your weekend photo dump: one - two - three - four - five - SIX - seven - eight - nine - ten - ELEVEN - twelve

The Kissing Sailor: The Mystery Behind the Photo That Ended World War II.

On August 14, 1945, Alfred Eisenstaedt took a picture of a sailor kissing a nurse in Times Square, minutes after they heard of Japan's surrender to the United States. Two weeks later LIFE magazine published that image. It became one of the most famous WWII photographs in history (and the most celebrated photograph ever published in the world's dominant photo-journal), a cherished reminder of what it felt like for the war to finally be over. Everyone who saw the picture wanted to know more about the nurse and sailor, but Eisenstaedt had no information and a search for the mysterious couple's identity took on a dimension of its own. In 1979 Eisenstaedt thought he had found the long lost nurse. And as far as almost everyone could determine, he had. For the next thirty years Edith Shain was known as the woman in the photo of V-J Day, 1945, Times Square. In 1980 LIFE attempted to determine the sailor's identity . Many aging warriors stepped forward with claims, and experts weighed in to support one candidate over another. Chaos ensued.

For almost two decades Lawrence Verria and George Galdorisi were intrigued by the controversy surrounding the identity of the two principals in Eisenstaedt's most famous photograph and collected evidence that began to shed light on this mystery. Unraveling years of misinformation and controversy, their findings propelled one claimant's case far ahead of the others and, at the same time, dethroned the supposed kissed nurse when another candidate's claim proved more credible. With this book, the authors solve the 67-year-old mystery by providing irrefutable proof to identify the couple in Eisenstaedt's photo. It is the first time the whole truth behind the celebrated picture has been revealed.

Man when I was growing up, if I left a sucker on the cofee table, my mother would kick my ass.

So anyway, it turns out that homebrewing is one of the fastest growing hobbies around. It's easy to see why – not only is it fun and educational, but you also get a ton of beer in the bargain. And who doesn't love beer? But homebrewing can be a bit tricky if you happen to live in a small apartment instead of a giant house with a laboratory in the basement. So here are some tips for the aspiring apartment homebrewer. So read them all, and get ready to forget all about Miller Lite.

Ahh, Heather Graham. Sure she may be a little crazy but nobody rocks a red dress like her. And nobody rocks a blue dress like her. And now nobody rocks the hour long orgasm like her.

Remember teen mom Farrah Abraham's sex tape? Well now you can buy the bikini that she (very briefly) wore in that video. You know, if that's your thing, creeper.

A musical fountain is a type of animated fountain for entertainment purposes that creates an aesthetic design including three-dimensional images. This is achieved by employing the effects of timed sound waves and timed light (including laser) against water particles. The water refracts and reflects the light, and in doing so, three-dimensional images can be produced. Installations can be large scale, employing hundreds of water jets and lights, and costing into the millions of dollars, or in smaller household forms, where a budget of one thousand dollars is feasible. Musical features tend to be complex, and require a degree of mechanical, hydraulic, electrical, and electronic components out of view that might be as impressive to its audience as the show itself.

Huh. So this is turning into a thing, I guess. Oldest and most busted: Toronto Blue Jays' JA Happ takes a line drive to the head. Not to be outdone, Toronto Maple Leafs' defenseman Mark Fraser takes a slap shot to the face. Now the new hotness: Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper takes a wall to the face. Or his face ot the wall? Or whatever.

A jon boat is a flat-bottomed boat constructed of aluminum, fiberglass, or wood with one, two, or three bench seats. They are particularly useful for hunting due to the greater stability as compared to a V-hull boat. They are quite suitable for fishing as well. Because the hull of a jon boat is nearly flat, it tends to ride over the waves rather than cut through them as a V-hull might, thus limiting the use of the boat to calmer waters. Jon boats typically have a transom onto which an outboard motor can be mounted. They are simple and easy to maintain, and inexpensive with many options to upgrade. Jon boats with beefed up aluminum construction, and powered by jet-drive outboards, are capable of operating in extremely shallow water and thus are used frequently in rocky rivers and areas with submerged obstructions such as oyster bars and coral.

Wow, that lady sure has a lot of tattoos.

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Dude. This Was Supposed To Be A Touchless Car Wash.

Finally, an energy drink marketed towards the female consumer -- and they do it so well. In our street tests, this product was selected by almost every female respondent. The design is clean, attractive, and simple -- again, very different than most of the products that are out there pushing aggressive, sexual, or offensive images.

The space tourism industry may be offering people the chance to travel miles above the Earth, but if you'd prefer to be beneath our planet's surface, you're in luck, as subterranean hotels are also appealing to the public to spend their holidays underground. Presenting the opportunity to try something new and exciting, their novelty factor could also make them stand out in a crowded marketplace. From repurposed secret military bases and nuclear bunkers to reclaimed caves and converted mines, these 13 amazing subterranean hotels may give the term underground economy a whole new meaning.

Flip-flops are a type of open-toed sandal typically worn in casual situations, such as outside or at the beach. They consist of a flat sole held loosely on the foot by a Y-shaped strap that passes between the first and second toes and around either side of the foot. They may also be held to the foot with a single strap over the front of the foot rather than a thong. The name flip-flop originated because of the sound that is made by slapping between the sole of the foot and the floor when walking.

So we're only six weeks into the 2013 MLB season, and already we've seen umpires blow a number of calls that have had real impacts on the outcomes of games. Are the umpires somehow worse than they used to be? Probably not. The increase in the number of bad calls probably has more to do with our ability to perceive them -- things like HD television and pitch-trackers -- than a decline in umpiring ability. Still, that doesn't make them any easier for fans to swallow, and it certainly does feel like expanded use of instant replay is just over the horizon.

A fallen foot arch, also known as "Pes Planus," is when the arch of your foot collapses and makes contact with the ground. If you allow a fallen arch to go untreated, it can cause you greater problems in the long term, such as knee pain, shin splints, and inflammation of the Achilles tendon. There are many bandage wraps on the market that can be purchased over the counter to treat Pes Planus. If using the over the counter wraps do not prove effective, you should consult your health care provider for custom treatment.

I don't believe the controversy isn't that an embassy was attacked -- that kind of shit has been going on for some 60 years -- but that the embassy was attacked for several hours while the powers that be did nothing to stop it. This is the equivalent of a family of four calling 911 during a home invasion. And when they ask the 911 operator for help, they're put on hold. So they hang up and call 911 again. And again. And again. Local police units who are nearby want to respond but are instead instructed to stay on traffic duty. Despite the parent's best efforts, eventually the home invaders overwhelm them and both the two parents and their two children are killed. Now eight months later, they release the 911 tapes and we're supposed to be satisfied with that. Now we have home invasions here every day, that's not news. People kill other people every day, that's not news, either. And if despite their best efforts the cops respond as quickly as they can, but are still too late to save the victims, we don't blame the cops and demand an investigation. That's just life. But when someone in mortal danger calls 911... for TWO HOURS and those who are supposed to protect and serve willingly do nothing and people die because of that inaction? That's pretty spectacular and newsworthy. That deserves our attention and that the appropriate parties -- be they military or civilian -- be held accountable.

My advice to the BHO fanboys is the same to the GWB fanboys from 8 years ago: The Buck Stops Here. Make decisions based upon shitty intelligence? Tough shit, it's your administration and your responsibility. FEMA botch the federal relief of a national disaster? Tough shit, it's your administration and your responsibility. CIA agent's identity revealed as political retribution? Tough shit, it's your administration and your responsibility. Foreign nations tortured at a prison that your troops set up and photos leaked online? Tough shit, it's your administration and your responsibility. Have more service members die after you claimed Mission Accomplished than before? Tough shit, it's your administration and your responsibility. The same is equally applicable here. Like it or not, someone's fucked the dog at Benghazi and their lack of action resulted in four American deaths. That someone needs to be held accountable for that. The Internal Revenue Service has been turned into a political weapon... "and we apologize." Are you KIDDING ME? And now the illegal AP breach that I'm sure Holder will claim no knowledge of, just like Fast and Furious... wink, wink. And yes, well aware that Obama may or may not have had prior knowledge of these acts. But guess what? Tough shit, it's your administration and your responsibility.

Old and busted: before/after PHOTOS of porn stars without makeup. The new hotness: before/after VIDEO of porn stars without makeup.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Because I carry a big stick and I'm the meanest mother fucker in the valley! Two sharks down, Lord! One demon fish to go! Can I get an Amen?

Eh, not a bad price on condoms, 1€ each or 3 for 2€. Although I bet Ron Swanson Nick Offerman could get a better deal.

In urinary catheterization flexible tube known as a urinary catheter is inserted into a patient's bladder via the urethra. Catheterization allows the patient's urine to drain freely from the bladder for collection. It may be used to inject liquids used for treatment or diagnosis of bladder conditions. A clinician, often a nurse, usually performs the procedure, but self-catheterization is also possible. The catheter may be a permanent one (indwelling catheter), or an intermittent catheter removed after each catheterization. A Foley catheter is retained by means of a balloon at the tip that is inflated with sterile water. They are commonly made in silicone rubber or natural rubber.

And if your timing is right, you just might find yourself some reasonably priced 9mm!

a big list of browser-based emulators and ports of classic games

Trust me, You're Not Going To Want To Regret This In The Morning.

I want your attention on this one so HEY LISTEN UP. Many moons ago, I urged you to sign up for the Sportsmans Guide membership -- it costs $30 to sign up, but they give you two $10 coupons up front and $15 off your first order of $49 or more. And then you get 10% off everything they sell -- including ammo -- for the year. Well today -- as in MAY FUCKING 15th -- they're doing an EXTRA 10% off for everything except ammo. If you've been holding off on a sizeable purchase now if the time to get off your lazy ass and save some seriou sbucks -- up to $300. Follow THIS LINK and use the aoupon code to take advantage of this offer. Again -- it turns into a pumpkin at MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. Again, you must be a member to get the extra 10% so if you haven't signed up already, do it now. Do not wait for a limo to pick you up. Do not wait for the next available clerk. Do it now. Otherwise don't come crying to me in the morning.

Nesta Robert "Bob" Marley was a Jamaican singer-songwriter and musician best known for his Reggae records. He was the rhythm guitarist and lead singer for the ska, rocksteady and reggae band Bob Marley & The Wailers. Marley remains the most widely known and the best-selling performer of reggae music, having sold more than 75 million albums worldwide. He is also credited with helping spread both Jamaican music and the Rastafari movement to a worldwide audience. Marley's music was heavily influenced by the social issues of his homeland, and he is considered to have given voice to the specific political and cultural nexus of Jamaica.

Not everyone wants to deal with the time, money, and hassle of exercise equipment. I mean, not only do you have to pay good money for it, but then you have to put it together -- what a pain in the ass! Then you have to actually take the time to use it. So here are nine helpful ways to get fit without exercise equipment. They may not all work for you, but one or two would almost have to, statistically speaking.

The Seattle SuperSonics -- also commonly referred to as the Sonics -- were an American professional basketball team based in Seattle, Washington that played in the Pacific and Northwest Divisions of the National Basketball Association (NBA) from 1967 until 2008. After the 2007–08 season ended, the team relocated to Oklahoma City, and now plays as the Oklahoma City Thunder. Settlement terms of a lawsuit between the city of Seattle and Clay Bennett's ownership group stipulated the SuperSonics' banners, trophies and retired jerseys remain in Seattle; the nickname, logo, and color scheme are available to any subsequent NBA team; and the Sonics' franchise history will be shared with the Thunder.

Old and busted: Toronto Blue Jays' JA Happ takes a line drive to the head. The new hotness: Toronto Maple Leafs' defenseman Mark Fraser takes a slap shot to the face -- someone has released Fraser's actual CT scan -- no not this one -- and it is fucking horrifying to see.

Studies indicate more than 70 percent of legal-drinking-age men have put their beer in the freezer to achieve the desired level of cold. The trick is to know when to take the beer out. To meet that need, Coors Light introduced the Cold Activated Bottle and Can, which feature the Rocky Mountains on the label in thermochromatic ink which turn blue when Coors Light has been chilled to the perfect temperature for ice cold refreshment.

For all the pictures of Ted Nugent with rifles in hand or deers on the grill, all the stories about battling Bloomberg or Britain's Piers Morgan, all the media that twists word and phrase to shape the message rather than tell the story, odds are they didn't report a thing about what he did for a 22-year old Marine sniper named Josh. And odds are this isn't the first time Ted Nugent stepped up to the plate when it comes to America's veterans.

the young achievers: the 15 most influential people under 40 (lady gaga??)